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Fidney Joneson
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Stop oppressing me with your black friday

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Fidney Joneson

11/24/2015 5:55:24 AM

Stop oppressing me with your black friday

I'm having nightmares about the old guy at the Walmart entrance chasing me and trying to kick me. My lousy auntie from 500 miles away sent me a Christmas Card already and she's going to freak if I don't return the favor. The neighbor already brought his dumb plastic Santa out of the attic and Santa is lying on his head in his driveway.

I don't honor black friday. It doesn't exist. They're saying now they're having black friday online so I may cancel my broadband.

I'm not buying any of you one goddarned thing for Christmas, and if you don't like it I'll hit you with a lump of coal right between the eyes.

but I'm buying myself a new boombox, how d'ya like that?


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11/24/2015 6:23:31 AM


Well we frankly are impressed.

Not only by the bold display of honesty,
but by the fact you found anyone still selling boomboxes.
We thought it's all iPods and iPhones and iThinks and shite like that.


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