Raandy
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1/3/2017 1:01:07 AM
I saved lives this past weekend.
It started when I was having my favorite Chinese dish Coconut Shrimp at my local restaurant. I opened up my fortune cookie at the end of the meal only to read "I'm being held prisoner in a Chinese Fortune-writing sweat shop."
This dismayed me. It only took a little investigative work to find that the cookie was manfactured in a city about 20 minutes away from my home. I drove there, took a Glock i had bought at a local gun show (they didn't even ask for my ID) for protection, and crashed in thru a screen door in the back of the establishment. Things got tricky for a bit when a giant sumo man attempted to ram me back out the door but I kicked his fat ass thru a pile of boxes that it turned out were holding a hearty supply of Crab Rangoon (my sister calls it Crab Raccoon). So it was off to the next room where I saw a dozen or so individuals of average height writing tiny fortunes on little slips of paper surrounded by several armed guards.
I used an improvised tactic, I told the man who seemed to be in charge that I wanted to work there and would he mind if I wrote excerpts from Bob Dylan lyrics for my fortunes? This seemed to confuse him and he went off to have a conference with the other guards. The 3 of them were huddled together when I snuck up behind and dumped a cannister of Sesame Oil on their heads, they became irate but when they came after me they slipped in the oil and it became like a comedy skit. I shouted out to the workers, follow me, you're free, and we all hightailed out of there, out the door and across the street to our freedom inside the local Waffle House. One of the workers then said he had to go back, he had been in the process of writing what he called "a good one" when I came in and he wanted to finish it. There's always one dummy who goes along with the flow no matter how lame, you know what I'm talking about.
Anyway I'm supposedly now going to receive an award from the local fire company. I might see if I can get any trade-in value, there's a funny T-shirt I've been looking at in the Salvation Army shop that says Make America Red Again.
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Bryon Tosoff
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1/5/2017 10:37:27 AM
I'm going have to pay more attention to those fortune cookies, usually i dont eat them but wondered why I gagged when I did try to swallow the crunchy things, so special notes in them eh, good thing you followed your gut instinct and took care of that situation. kudo's you did one good thing in your life. thats something and getting an award. I am jealous. And especially if you are getting that Sally Ann special thing (if you trade it in) , never heard of "Make America Red Again" is that a Trump saying?
BT
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