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fly on the wall
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5/29/2015 12:57:16 AM
I find it hard to be happy.
for starters there's this perfectionist thing going on, little problems that accumulate. by the time you shut one down another pops up.
if you're halfway observant, you regularly notice areas of your life you fucked up on. Like maybe you didn't do as good a job of raising your kid as you should have. Or maybe you said something to somebody it seems you can never take back cause they never forget it.
then there's people that aren't in your life anymore, but you miss. What did you do to lose them, you doh't even know.
usually I have to settle for just having something I can sink my teeth into when I wake up, something I know I need to get done that doesn't make me feel ill to think about. That's a good day.
how do you all deal with tryin' to stay happy?
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Bryon Tosoff
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5/29/2015 3:33:57 AM
Geez Fly, you are dealing with a lot of challenges and it seems it is causing some degree of frustration.You have a lot going on, obviously, and dealing with day to day things in trying to tackle and resolve them.
I commiserate with your current feelings,and have gone through some discouraging situations as we all do on this journey we are on. Dealing with difficult people can contribute to a lot of issues, I am experience that at this time with a client and trying to figure out how to communicate some issues without offending them. So that is why i woke up at 230 in the bloody morning, I never wake up in the early morning, generally sleep well, but guess subconsciously this is bothering me more then i thought. People problems are harder to deal with then a process or solving a problem such as where do I get more money to pay the bills. lol.
As for daily challenges and things that you are alluding to, well I guess that comes with the territory of being someone who is used to knowing how to get things done
Happiness. well I think it is a state of mind, versus something that will make you happy, I dont think anything can make a person happy, or another person that can make one a happy person.
I try to simplify my life these days and do things I want to do and enjoy getting out for long walks and enjoy the nature in the area we live and living by a seaside community offers such a calming affect. I do a lot of gardening and dabble a bit when I can on the piano or if someone asks occasionally do a collab. but not as much as I used to, my interests have changed.
I rather just do what i like and that is pretty simple these days. The occasional promo, a few students to teach. Maybe doing something you like can contribute to happiness, or serving in an area that you are good at , that can help a person feel good and maybe be happy knowing they have accomplished something good and that i suppose is helpful in mitigating the effects of a negative state of mind, I dont think we will ever achieve perfect happiness, but we can control to some extent in being in a state of thankfulness. Each person is different. life sometimes is complicated. We all experience different things at different times like my situation with a difficult client. not that I am not happy about it, just wondering how to resolve and dealing with an issue in a delicate matter. Sometimes we have to make decisions that are best for us, rather then worry about another's feelings, but that is a tough part of being in business. Think of others feelings more then ones own.
So I have not answered much of your question, how do i stay happy, well simply put enjoying the opportunities to help others , maybe that is the best i can offer. I hope things work out Fly....cheers
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Shoe City Sound
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5/29/2015 6:44:06 AM
I'm trying really hard all the time to not dwell on stuff that already happened - not easy when we all know the nagging voices in our heads and how loud and insistent they can get haha. I think it's a decision to be happy. There's always 2 sides to the coin and you can choose. I don't feel like wasting one more perfectly good day with regrets about the past. Been there, done that for waaaaay too long. But again, it's hard to quit. I'm getting better at it.
I agree with you that doing something constructive and taking your mind off your own thoughts helps.
And of course there's music!! - thank God
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fly on the wall
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5/29/2015 11:57:29 AM
Yes music is the ultimate cure, isn't it?
Bryon I live close to the beach too, that's a good suggestion, I haven't been down there often enough lately.
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Hop On Pop
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5/29/2015 2:30:18 PM
Sounds like a song:
I find it hard to be happy
I always see something wrong
I can't let myself just smile
There's always things I ain't got
I find it hard to be happy
Unless I am not
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SILVERWOODSTUDIO
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5/29/2015 8:32:13 PM
Fly , it's so good to see your posts again
I'm in one of those places at the moment where everything has converged to make a perfect storm through my life.
I am basically just refusing to look for sympathy, or dwelling on things I cannot control in my life, in the past I have found folks are very kind, but once you get into feeling sorry for yourself, you're busted.
So like Bryon I am gardening, going to natural places; beach /forest/mountains and hanging with my best buds who give me shit (in a nice way)
last night we sat around a beach fire and jammed, that was great.
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Noah Spaceship
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5/31/2015 8:24:47 PM
go for a bike ride
cure all
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Stoneman
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5/31/2015 10:24:16 PM
I like to walk. I get up at 5:30 every morning and I do a 4 1/2 mile power walk. During that walk I have to go up 3 very steep hills. The last one is the steepest of all so before I go up that hill I stop and have prayer. I do this because I know that making it up to the top of that last hill is not a guarantee. That last hill represents the hardest challenges in my life. I put it all on that hill. The health issues, problems, war memories, abandonment, racism, heart break. I say "Lord I know that if I can make up to the top of this hill, I can make it through anything". Then I proceed up the hill fast and strong and I don't stop until I reach the top. Once I get to the top I look down on the valley and I acknowledge that I am above it all. Then I give thanks and I continue to the end of my daily journey.
A strange and wonderful thing happens after that. Anything difficult that comes up during the day seems so small compared to that steep hill I conquered. I feel as if I am in control and nothing can defeat me. The bills? No! The torn relationships? No! That Sax solo I have been struggling with? No! I beat them all and I move on to the next thing. My happiness is not about all the good things in my life. It's about my ability to overcome all the bad things or the effects of the bad things. As a former soldier I have learned that the biggest battle of my life is that hill. It's not the child abuse I survived, the gang wars I fought in, the missing parents, the drugs, the stroke, cancerous brain tumor or any of the things I have overcome. It's the hill! That dang steep ass hill! I push myself to the limit and then I push myself even more. My daily victory is a reward that I give myself. I make myself happy because I win and then I get up the next morning and do it all over again. I trust myself to make it because I always have made it through the shit in my life. But there are those rare days when my body deceives me and my legs cramp up. The herniated discs in my neck swell and my will fades. On those days I laugh out loud and call myself a fool for believing I will always win. Nobody wins all the time. Into each life some rain must fall. So, I use that time to regroup and summon up enough courage to tackle that hill again the next day. The hill is a strong representative of my entire life. I have been climbing that hill all along but I just didn't know it. Probably doesn't make much sense to most people but for me, it is happiness personified. Almost every day I have a great victory. I usually celebrate with a big plate of fruit and a cup of tea. Then I begin my daily adventures in music. That usually makes me very happy!
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SILVERWOODSTUDIO
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6/1/2015 4:59:38 PM
Thanks for that story mate----made me smile
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Chandra Moon
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6/3/2015 5:54:25 AM
This is a big question with a simple answer - for me personally - finding inner peace in my life has made me happy.
Not thinking that a particular person, job, achievement of my kids or situation is going to make me happy bearing in mind it all changes all the time and never works out how you think.
I found a way but there are so many ways so I'm not saying I know the only answer or think my way is the only way. Personally, I don't like religion as people seem to always go to war over it and want to convince you it's the only way which in my humble opinion is very arrogant.
Listening to and making music also gives me a ton of joy as well as a ton of frustration when I can't get it right ............
This worked for me but as I said - please don't think I'm trying to push something at you....
http://wopg.org/
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