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fly on the wall
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7/19/2015 1:38:47 AM
wanting something more
My general state of mind is wanting something more. out of life, out of the minute I'm living in. out of myself. out of you.
I'm always left wondering if there is even something more out there.
I spend my time like house money. Waiting to be awake, inspired, to do the things I really want to do more than waiting.
Sometimes it feels like every single person in the world is more contented than me. Occasionally I ride a wave when I feel just right but usually the porridge is too hot or too cold, or more likely too far away.
waiting waiting til all is lost I guess.
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birdy's eye view
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7/19/2015 4:38:26 AM
When you say you want more "out of you" do you mean me, or are you talking in the 3rd Fly or is it the 1st Fly? I was never very good at grandma or is that grammar, I was never very good at English because I'm a French bird, actually I'm not but the guys seem to prefer the continental chicks.
But anyway, if you do want more from me, let me know and I will sit on your little problems and see if I can hatch a plan for your well-being. Tweet! Tweet!
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birdy's eye view
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7/19/2015 8:11:29 AM
---- Updated 7/19/2015 8:26:36 AM
I made you a lovely Station to cheer you up but I'm such a bird brain I can't make the link work
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birdy's eye view
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7/19/2015 8:19:56 AM
---- Updated 7/19/2015 8:29:16 AM
It's called "All about Fly" but my HTML went to HTMHell :(
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Bryon Tosoff
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7/19/2015 8:54:48 AM
---- Updated 7/19/2015 8:55:29 AM
Mr Fly on the Wall. do you have any brother sister flies here. just wondered, maybe you are lonely and need a family of flies. maybe get a fly by the night band going. I gave up doing teh band thing, carrying guitars are easy compared to lugging around rhodes big horgans and synths. and driving all over, forget it. but guitars people can carry nice light guitars and use somebodies else amp. or p a system.
so your question, I have lots to do around here, at home, huge garden, and a dig it, lolol I sometimes do collabs, but that has dried up of late, I am glad, I am too busy with other things to care , I hardly sat down and plunked the piano, someday after summer is gone, and the wet rainy days of the west coast of BC return to normal, if ever, its so dry, and the whole province is on fire. hasnt rained proper in over 3-4 months, I hate it,. it seems like california weather is hitting us,. maybe we would feel better if we got rained on.
wait I am not helping. I am not sure what to suggest, we all go through circumstances like this, wondering, but I am sure you have lots to do. you will find yourself and then watch out. things will explode
BT
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Stoneman
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7/19/2015 10:36:37 AM
Mr. Fly, I come from extremely humble beginnings. I was an abandoned and physically abused child. I grew up on the mean streets of South Central Los Angeles and spent most of my child hood days hoping I might find a meal. At the time, my general state of mind was "wanting something more". It was the only fire within me that burned hot. I was hell bent on finding something more. Something better than poverty, better than hunger, better than facing a racist society that looked at me and assumed I was "lesser than" because I am Black. I wanted something better than homelessness, sickness, heartbreak and loneliness. Something more was my daily mantra. I got sent to Vietnam where once again I hoped and prayed that there would be something more. Something better than seeing my friends gunned down in battle and hearing their screams at night when I tried to close my eyes to sleep. I wanted something more than bombs, napalm, agent orange and body bag details where I was forced to carry the dead to waiting to leave in helicopters. Something more than death, destruction and fear. Something more was something I searched for my entire life. Decade after decade after decade.
I have good news for you. The fact that you want something more is a clue that you can get it. It is the desires of the heart that trigger the brain to act and the body to follow. Let me explain. So many of the people that I grew up with wanted something more for a time and then they settled for what they had. They gave up hope and stopped dreaming about a better day. They became stagnant and lost the will to strive for something more. They just accepted their fate and allowed it to consume their lives.
But I wanted something more and I did everything I could to get something more. In short, I worked my ass of. I often worked 3 jobs at a time in search of something more. When I wasn't working some menial jobs I was teaching myself how to play a variety of instruments. I never had a music lesson but taught myself by watching what others did. I volunteered to work in bands for free just so I could learn something more than what I had learned. I went back to school and earned credentials in recording engineering, music industry studies and ministry because I wanted to know something more. The more I did the more I achieved. If you want something more you must do something more. Put your wants into action and you will begin to find something more. I was the first in my family since slavery time to earn a college degree. Something more? The first in my family since slavery to own a house. Something more? The first to receive critical acclaim for my music. Something more? The first to retire from two professions and realize a dream of being able to work on music full time without concern for money. Something more? I have 44 music industry plaques on my wall. I have won several international songwriting competitions. That is a whole lot more than I expected. I have written and produced thousands of songs in many genres. I would say that that is a bit more than a lot of artists can say.
No, I am not a household name but I am known by a lot of people. No, I have never had a hit record but I have made money in music. Enough to sustain my efforts to make more. No, I am not rich but I am also not poor. I am something more. I am a man that has proven that achieving something more begins with hard work and faith. Faith in whatever God you believe in and faith in yourself. But even if you don't believe in God, faith in yourself will certainly be beneficial for you. You gain faith in yourself By setting goals and accomplishing them one at a time. Instead of spending your time like house money waiting to awake. Try spending your time seeking the things you want and following all the steps it takes to get there. Something more begins with the desire, evolves with the work and materializes with the expertise you learn along the way.
Mr. Fly, YOU CAN HAVE something more. It is there for you. All you have to do is reach out and get it. I am not trying to brag or boast about how great I am. I am not great. I am not special and I am certainly not more talented than most musicians or songwriters. But I am a hard worker. I believe in having a tough working ethic. That is my calling card. I see something more that I want and I work my ass off trying to get it. I have failed many times but I just get right back up and work harder. I know a lot of people don't respect what I do but I could care less. I am more concerned with the many people who do find merit in me and what I bring to the table. In the past year I have been signed by 3 independent labels. They all were interviewing artists from all over the world but settled on me because I had just a little something more than others. A very strong track record of hard work and dedication to my art. 25 years ago I received over 150 rejection letters from recording companies all over the world. Today, I am turning down offers from some of those same companies.
If you really want something more. Identify what it is that you want and get to work. These days I still want something more. That desire will probably never fade in me because it is my way of life. It is who I am. But another element has come into my life. I am grateful for every single thing I have. I know that people like me don't usually make it as far as I have. I live in a neighborhood I never dreamed I would be able to afford. I have built my own studio in my house and can work on my music whenever I feel like it. I teach young impoverished kids who were like me. I teach them music, songwriting and the need to have a strong work ethic if they want to make it in this world. I am grateful to be alive and to be loved. I am not alone anymore. I have a wife that treats me like I am the best thing that ever happened to her. Yet I know that she is the best thing that ever happened to me. I am grateful to God and so very grateful to myself. I have proven that I am not the low life Black guy that so many thought I would turn out to be. Today, I am something more. Seek it and you will find it. It is not as elusive as you may think.
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Bryon Tosoff
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7/19/2015 11:19:10 AM
What Stoneman has is drive, determination and desire, and a perseverance persistence and plan to achieve his goals ,over and over. it can be done. and is being done, by many here, And I have seen proof of it all during my life and the short time I have had the privilege and opportunity to promote some of the finest wonderful people I know who are decent good human beings and lastly fine hard working artists
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Stoneman
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7/19/2015 12:43:13 PM
Thank you Bryon! Bryon has done so much for the many artists that he has promoted because he works so hard at it. He puts all of his time and energy into making their careers better than what they were when they met him. I am awed and inspired by his dedication to the art and to the people in the art. Because of this, he is well respected by artists and music makers through out the industry.
By the way, contentment is a choice we all make. You either choose to be happy with who and what you are or you choose not to be. I went to the Vietnam memorial in Washington DC. years ago as I wanted to pay homage to my friends killed in battle. Walking toward the memorial I came across a booth where there was a man selling Vietnam memorabilia. As I got closer I saw him break out a bull horn and he started ranting and raving about how badly the US government had treated Vietnam vets. He cursed and swore and hollered at the top of his lungs. Now, I am not saying that he didn't have a point. We vets were and still are treated bad by the US government and the American people. But most of us have learned to accept it and move on with our lives.
I kept walking and further down I came upon another booth and a Vietnam vet who had lost both of his legs and an arm in Vietnam. As I approached his booth he looked at me and said you're a vet aren't you? I said yes. So, we started talking and he asked me if I had heard the stuff the other vet preaches day in and day out. I said yeah, he was kind of annoying even though I know he is right. The vet who had lost his limbs looked at me and said. I am just thankful that I made it home alive. It feels good to be alive. I love my nation and I would sacrifice myself again if I had to. There is the contrast I am speaking of. The man who had every right to be angry and screaming out loud mad was the one who was calm and thankful for being alive. He was grateful for what he had. Ironically, he was selling a lot more merchandise than the other guy was also. He made a choice to be content within himself even though he had so much to be angry about. The other chose to be angry and he has been angry for 40 years. Yet he still had both of his arms and legs. If you look around closely you will see many people who are less fortunate than you. By examining the plight of their lives, I guarantee you that you will find so much to be thankful for. This can be the beginning of a new day and a new attitude for you. But only you can choose to be content with what you have while striving to gain something more. Everyday I get up and I walk 4 1/2 miles while giving thanks for being able to walk, eat, sleep, pray, dance, play, make love and work on music. Then, I start to work on gaining something more. But it begins with giving thanks first.
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Noah Spaceship
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7/19/2015 1:43:47 PM
sloth will kill you slowly.
Enjoy.
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fly on the wall
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7/19/2015 4:19:51 PM
That was a great batch of worthwhile answers (particularly Stoneman's), thank you, but I was still left wanting something more. Maybe I need some vitamins or something..
I liked my station, Birdy Eye, that was so nice. Fall Fly and Touchdown or Fly are 2 of my favorite songs on this site btw.
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Stoneman
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7/20/2015 12:07:35 PM
That's great Fly. Nothing wrong with wanting more. Now, Go get it man!
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