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Old Man Warner
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2/21/2018 3:37:14 AM
I'm turning 100 in May
The secret to my long life is that I'm so unhappy. People don't bother me cause they know I'm miserable, they don't want to get involved. I try to make new friends but they always read too much into my effort. Sometimes I get high from the fume. My main policy is I always finish my glass of wine, no matter how bad it makes me feel. Things ain't the way they used to be, and they never will be again. Things were never that good in the first place. I have more to say but I gotta go, my kidneys hurt.
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Pearl Diverse
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2/21/2018 5:54:36 AM
---- Updated 2/21/2018 5:59:00 AM
Mr Warner, I wanna warn ya. You are doomed to live a long, unhappy life. You think the World has changed, you think that things ain't what they used to be, right? Wrong, the World is exactly the way it always was. People are people and always will be. People are mean and selfish and ungrateful, people are stupid and careless and miserable. The only difference is some folks hide it well and some folks deny it. Some folks are honest and wallow in the injustice of life and the deterioration of standards at the same time as getting satisfaction from being judgmental or harbingers of doom.
People are doomed and always will be, it's just a matter of for how long. You think you are lucky to have lived to this age, but in fact you are unlucky because your life has just been more of the same and always will be because you are in charge of your life and you are not the right person for the job. At your age you remember the past wrongly, it becomes idyllic beyond reality until it turns the present into purgatory on Earth. You wait for doom to arrive as a blessed relief.
I was lucky in the eyes of those who consider themselves unlucky ; I won the lottery, THE LOTTERY. My prize meant that every day I was doomed to misery ; I was hated and ignored, I was attacked and abused, I could no longer trust love or friendship. I began to hate love and love hate. I was doomed to live a long life too.
Then Mr Warner, one night I saw the light, THE LIGHT. Some days it was ruby red, bottled and corked, and some days it sparkled like diamonds in a crystal glass, occasionally it was short and golden or stout and brown It was called 'Salvation' and I took it. I took my Salvation every morning and every night. One day I realized that all I had was my Salvation, that's all I lived for.
It didn't help me to live better, it helped me to die sooner.
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Old Man Warner
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2/21/2018 8:36:21 AM
well you won the lottery, nyah nyah nyah nyah - nyah
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Pearl Diverse
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2/21/2018 10:01:51 AM
Life is the lottery you already won Mr Warner, you just can't remember where you put the ticket and now it's too late to cash it in.
Let me tell you Old Man, no man is rich until he owns something that money can't buy.
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Old Man Warner
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2/21/2018 10:17:11 AM
well goodie, I own a sore foot.
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Pearl Diverse
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2/21/2018 11:08:08 AM
The cost of a sore foot is merely the price you pay for cheap shoes my friend.
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Old Man Warner
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2/21/2018 11:19:47 AM
I don't even wear my dang shoes most of the time, I'm too old for that.
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Pearl Diverse
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2/21/2018 12:31:18 PM
For a man who likes to uphold tradition and cling to the past, throwing off your shoes goes against your nature. It is an attempt to free yourself of the shackles that get you through life. You are regressing to babyhood and pretty soon you will be walking about naked living off stewed chickweed and acorns.
Sir, may I say you have no identity outside of your given name which is 'Old Man' a moniker you have carried since you were born. Change you name to Zachary Efron and you will be rejuvenated.
But you will still be doomed, we're all doomed.
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Old Man Warner
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2/21/2018 12:37:00 PM
I was doomed when I flunked outa 2nd grade.
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Stoneman
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3/5/2018 6:46:31 PM
I feel your pain old man. hang in there though. Eventually the angels are coming to get you. Life is for the living. When you stop living they come to take you away. You cannot allow yourself to be stuck in the past. Move on to the next thing. It will prepare you for whatever your life plan has in store for you. Wishing you the best! Stoneman
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