The PaleontologistAbe Rap Comedy

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just letting everyone know the true history of abraham lincoln.

felt like it.

Have you ever heard the story of Abe Lincoln He never came from the family of Finkon He always wore a top hat on the top of his head And never brushed his teeth before he went to bed No one would question him with his beard Even all the ghosts had to live in fear Now to let you in on the history of this guy In order to comprehend it you'll have to be high do you know how the dinos went extinct? Either you all are blind or you just blinked Abe Lincoln was born millions of years ago surrounding him was a mystic glow The dinosaurs tried with all their might They sure did put up a good fight His fist took on the form of a meteor you know And he took out all the dinosaurs with one giant blow Then he was reborn in year 0 As Jesus the greatest civil war hero Jesus Christ was not just Jesus Christ Abe Lincoln took away his body in heist. They swore they saw him be crucified but all the witnesses must have been high Even with all this he never wore shoes And ended up screwing all the Jews The slayer of dinosaurs was Abraham Lincoln Jesus Christ was Abraham Lincoln Then in 1492 Lincoln sailed the ocean blue When he got to America he saw what was true He killed all them Indians, one by one While his beard was having so much fun. He powned them and claimed the land, his own. So they all threw him a bone They knew he was 1337 so they accepted defeat Abe Lincoln was one giant man it was so easy for him to open a can he stood 90 stories high and 20 stories wide luckily, he never had to hide. He only wore flannel and carried an axe a blue bull followed him like all lumberjacks. When anyone gave him any funny looks he smashed 'em with his giant hook. Christopher Columbus, was abraham lincoln Paul Bunyan, was abraham lincoln Hitler, Mussolini, and the President of Japan believe it or not, were all the same man. It must have been some freaky evil gland but evil abe lincoln took his own stand. He was so evil, he killed all them jews and everyone stood and watched his evil ooze. He even tried taking over china. Must have been cause he has a man-gina. This evil Abe Lincoln would just not quit, he took on the form of every evil wit Every single terrorist with evil powers, like Hitler, who blew up the twin towers. He even brought back the dinosaurs with a spark, and raised them all on Jurassic park. He raised them as confederates to fight the union but luckily jesus was there with his first communion. Napolean, was evil abe lincoln Genghis khan, was evil abe lincoln hitler, was evil abe lincoln mussolini, was evil abe lincoln the president of japan, was evil abe lincoln abe even became the greatest scientists. Darwin, einstein, and edison were some of this. He told everyone about evolution, and when edison, wrote the constitution. He even thought of the atom bomb, which he used to blow up the pres. Of japan(use asian accent) he also found the formula for energy, while having this girl on her knees. Gandhi and Martin Luther King Junior never became entrepreneurs. They were abe lincoln in disguise, when he heard some peoples cries' he went to egypt to set his people free and saved the animals from the flooding sea. not only this, but he also loved peace, besides that, he had a hot niece. The slayer of dinosaurs, was abraham lincoln jesus christ, was abraham lincoln Christopher columbus, was abraham lincoln paul bunyan, was abraham lincoln Napolean, was evil abe lincoln Genghis Khan, was evil abe lincoln hitler, was evil abe lincoln mussolini, was evil abe lincoln the president of japan, was evil abe lincoln Mohandas Gandhi, was abraham lincoln Martin Luther King Jr., was abraham lincoln (various others, etc.) Abraham lincoln, was abraham lincoln in the final battle they took on their true forms, when they did this, it created fierce storms. In the end the fight seemed so level, it was kool-aid man, vs. the devil. Kool-aid man took the first punch, but the devil punched back with a crunch. After all this only one man came on top, because of one super karate chop. It was kool-aid man, he was abraham lincoln kool-aid man, was abraham lincoln. Ohhhhhh yeahh...muthafuckur x