A reimagining of a song I wrote back in 2013! This new version of "Crystal Habit" is performed with an ensemble of dulcimer, acoustic bass, and drums.
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CRYSTAL HABIT
Original recording featured on "Sort Of (Not Really)" - 2013
As I learned in Geology class, a "crystal habit" refers to the way a crystal grows. As such, my "crystal habit" is the way I grow, which in this song refers to making mistakes, feeling guilty about them, and trying to learn from them. My introverted nature and social anxieties often led to me saying things I didn't mean or getting terse with my friends. Afterward I would think, "Why did I say that? Why didn't I think about what I was saying? Why was my first instinct to be rude?" Analyzing these situations and feelings ultimately helped me grow as a person, but this method of growth created a lot of frustration and regret.
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The window is warm
The morning is young
With nary a bon mot on the tip of my tongue
Silence and thought
Tunnel vision
Swimming with synapses and the day has begun
Enter the friend
Thinking with speed
Churning and growing as they're talking to me
Taken aback
Rattle and hum
Responses a million and I have to pick one
I can't break my crystal habit
Emboldened and crass
Malapropos
Jumping and breaking in where I shouldn't go
Speak and then think
What have I done?
Communication breaking down into none
I can't break my crystal habit
I'm sorry
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