When you're feeling stuck yet overwhelmed by everything at the same time.
Written and composed by Monicka Ferens
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My first new song since November last year.
It started with music. I've always wanted to write a a simple acoustic song, because I find them very emotional in their simplicity.
Then I wrote lyrics, but something didn't feel right. The words didn't feel right and they didn't fit the vibe of the music at all. So I abandoned that song and focused on something else.
When the pandemic started, the old feeling of stagnation and overwhelment came back as if I actually missed it. Once again, I found myself feeling like I wasn't going anywhere in life and all I had was this bedroom as my little cozy prison. With all those feelings filling me up, I returned to my ''Monotone'' song and re-wrote both lyrics and melodic line. Finally the song became what it was supposed to be. A song made out of frustration, anger and resignation.
Couple of days ago I added cello to it, because your girl Monica just CAN'T not have a cello in her song, apparently. But I kept most of my promise and I didn't add any harmonies nor adlibs – kept it as simple as my inspiration allowed me to haha.
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Monotone
This is no life of plots and twists
All I know fits inside the box
I watch the life flow without me
and all I feel is I can't join the ride
cause day by day I'm walking back and forth
day's no different from the night
if I want to change a thing
I would need to go off the rails
but I'm so lost
what should I do?
where should I start
when there's no light in sight
I need to go
[Chorus]
It's so empty yet so stuffed
So scarce but we'll say it's fine
it's enough
I'm so lonely yet I'm never alone
It's too much yet so monotone
I've got more steps to make than days to live
and this fact alone beats all the alternatives
it's not longer about any finest victories
it's all about making my own memories
'cause all this time
I'm wasting life that isn't mine
and this choice is taking its toll
I want a life to call my own
so I'll pay the price
[Chorus]
hear me as I let go
hear me as I let go
[Chorus]
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