We procrastinated, and this is all we ended up with.
Written by K.P. Winkerland
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Once upon a time there was a dolphin named Billy. Billy lived in a magical underwater school bus that could feel emotions and speak many dead languages. For hands, the bus had tentacles that writhed beautifully in the dark and ghostly shadows of the deepness. One morning Billy awoke to the sounds of Rupert, the magical bus, playing a delightful tune on his yellow accordion. Billy felt inspired by the heartfelt performance, and decided to set off on a journey to the islands of Coronado in search of his drunken brother, Karl, who had a compulsive gambling problem. “With these two hands, I will make things right with Karl, my fat, lazy gambling brozie!!”, exclaimed Billy as he sailed along whistling and making clickety noises. He crossed the unknown and farthest reaches of the sea. Suddenly, a nearby alien craft interrupted the gravitational powers of earth and Billy was tossed out into space along with everything on earth that wasn’t bolted to the ground securely, like water and people and bicycles. Out in space, Billy was instantly frozen into a huge ice chunk orbiting Venus. 83 billion years later, a garbage collecting space craft cleaned up all the messy pieces of earth floating around in space and put them into a giant garbage sack. When all the pieces thawed out, it was a mushy mixture of leaves and sand and other things formerly stuck to earth. Billy was in a pretty good mood when he woke up in the mush, and stretched out his flippers and started off down a river of grass and old shoes. He felt determined to find Karl, his compulsive lying twin, even in his new home in the giant garbage sack being pulled through the galaxy behind an old metal spacecruiser. He was becoming human. After a thousand weeks a lot of meat and rocks congealed into Billy and he was a new human ready for all the riches and pleasures of being crowned as the new king of all the humans in the garbage sack. Right away he ordered a hundo giant nets to start dragging the eart
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We love you.
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