"he sniffs my wife's panties,
and jumps on our bed
I found him bouncing
with a pair on his head!"
steves
|
|
|
fiogf49gjkf0d At first it seemed like a normal Christmas Eve in the house of Steve
Santa came down my chimney, placed presents under the tree,
and ate the milk and cookies we left for him on a table next to the
fireplace.
We woke up the next morning to open the presents Santa had left for us.
However, there was just one problem.
Santa was STILL in our house.
At first we thought he was ill…or perhaps just a little delusional.
However, as days went by we came to the realization that
Santa just likes our house better than his own home on the North Pole.
Verse 1
But He took a big dump
It left quite a stink
Guess he doesn’t own a toilet
Cause he used the damn sink!
Red boots on my furniture
Tarnished suit barely fits
Now my couch is all smeared
With green reindeer shit
Eats me out of house and home
It really has me peeved
Santa’s got a new life
He’s never going to leave!
Refrain:
With his feet on my couch
Bastard’s scratching his balls
Eating my food
making long distance calls
He sniffs my wife’s panties
And jumps on our bed
I found him bouncing
With a pair on his head
Hope you’re not waiting
For santa this year
He passed out on my couch
After drinking my beer
Verse 2:
Rudolph’s growing weak,
All the Reindeer unfed
Donner slipped off the roof,
Lays in the road dead.
Santa sick of the elves
And he’s sick of the cold
He’s sick of Mrs. Clause
Who’s wrinkly and old
There’s everything here
For Santa’s new life
He wrestles my dog
Scrapbooks with my wife
Refrain 2:
With his feet on my couch
Santa picks at his nose
Pay per view porn
While his boner grows
He sniffs my wife’s panties
And jumps on our bed
I found him bouncing
With a pair on his head
So if you’re waiting
For santa this year
He passed out on my couch
Cause he drank all my beer!
SPOKEN
He looks at my porn
while he "touches" himself
He "used" all the lotion
I kept on the shelf
When he falls down my chimney,
or pukes on my floor
When he breaks open my window
cause he cant find the door.
I’ll think of you all without unwelcome guests
While santa throws up and makes more of a mess.
With his feet on my couch
Picks the cheese from his balls
Eats all my food
makes long distance calls
He sniffs my wife’s panties
And jumps on our bed
I found him bouncing
With a pair on his head
So if you’re waiting
For santa this year
He threw up on my cat,
cause he drank all my beer!
With his feet on my couch
Santa’s not gonna go
He wipes on the cushion
What he picks from his nose
Wife: he sniffs my panties
He likes them in red
I gotta buy more cause
These smell like his head!
Both:
if you’re waiting
this xmas eve
he’s here on our couch
and he’s not gonna leave!
puts his feet on my couch
and picks his ass
He watches my porn
While he passes gas
Wife: he likes my panties
Loves them with lace
He bounces and rubs them
All over his face!
So if you’re waiting
For santa this year
He raped my dog
After drinking my beer!
puts his feet on my couch
and scratches his balls
eats all my food
makes long distance calls
on my couch naked
while he guzzles beer
says he’s had sex
with the elves and reindeer!
x |
|
 |
|