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Hop On Pop
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1/30/2009 6:40:00 AM
Funny thing about the blogs/internet boards
Is that the anonymity that they provide allow people (myself included) to be a lot ruder to each other than we would be face-to-face.
I'm guessing that some of us would be downright embarrassed if and when we meet each other in-person. An internet persona does not necessarilly translate to a person's actual personality. I think it magnifies it both the bad points and the good points. For instance, I know that I would not have the balls to make such sweeping statements as this one, were we all together in a room. I'd feel like a pompous ass. Hell, I feel a little like a pompous ass just posting this.
Still, I think that it's true.
Hopefully, one day, we'll all be able to meet in-person, see what each other is really like, and mend a few fences.
Until that day...
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The Man With No Band
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1/30/2009 6:55:30 AM
I'm afraid I'm pretty much just what you see in my words Todd ... I don't know how to be anybody else ...
The only difference is .... right now this screen is the only thing keeping me from punching at least one individual square in the mouth ....
I am the barbarian I type to be .....
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Hop On Pop
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1/30/2009 7:00:52 AM
---- Updated 1/30/2009 7:01:51 AM
I feel like I am the same person that you see in my words, as well, Sam.
Only, I think that it's the Über-Me. I have a feeling that it's the same with you. I like you. You're a good guy. But, in-person I think that both of us would stop some of the words that we allow to appear on-screen from actually coming out of our mouths. Not that the words we type aren't what we actually think/feel; just that there is less of a filter without a person actually in-front of us. It's more detached.
What I typed above is exactly what I think. But, in person, I think that I might be a little embarrassed to say exactly all of those words in exactly that way, because I would not want you to think that I am trying to psychoanalyze you or anything. Or that I'm trying to present myself as some sort of Sociology expert.
Thing is, I do this in my head all the time. I just try to use those thoughts to get along, instead of imposing them upon everyone else.
You see what I mean?
Would you agree with that?
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1/30/2009 7:09:46 AM
I think we're entirely different peeple online, in writing rather than talking mode. There have been inarticulate quiet peeple who wrote great masterworks of literature.
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Andy Broad
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1/30/2009 7:10:30 AM
I find this a very thought provoking site. It makes me angry, but often in a positive way. Just at the moment it seems to have gone critical... I hope it can recover.
I don't post as much as I could, some of things I want to say are quite complex, and whilst I'm not iliterate I'm never at my most confident with the writen word!
I'm kind of with Sam in terms of clinking someone, but I know in real life I wouldn't, so I'll try to avoid doing on the net as well...
Forums are indeed very strange places. This one has a high degree of content, honesty of different types, no doubt some dishonesty too. Very little spam. Almost all discussion are of substance, even is some are infuriating!
Now I'm rambling and bot sure what I'm trying to contribute to this thread but I'll press the send button anyway...
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The Man With No Band
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1/30/2009 7:10:56 AM
I would agree that is probably true of you ... and others as well ....
.. just not me ... that doesn't make me better mind you ... probably worse ...
... I'm pretty rough around the edges ... and I never hold back ... even in real life ... it's just the way I am and I couldn't help it if I tried ... my vocabulary isn't very proper ... and I seldom stop to think about my words ... They just come out like free will ...
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Andy Broad
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1/30/2009 7:15:08 AM
@Sam, ".. I'm pretty rough around the edges ... and I never hold back ... even in real life ... it's just the way I am and I couldn't help it if I tried ... my vocabulary isn't very proper ... and I seldom stop to think about my words ... They just come out like free will ..."
There more good in that than bad, by quite a way...
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Hop On Pop
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1/30/2009 7:15:28 AM
If that is the case with you Sam, then I envy you a lot. And pity you a little. (Please do not take that as confrontational, it's not meant to be.) Let me explain:
It must be rewarding to be able to express yourself so completely in everyday life; to have nothing left to say, because it's already out there. But, it must also be difficult, because I can imagine that you must have alienated a few people that you care about.
Forgive me, if I am stepping over bounderies here, I am just continuing on with this thread. If I have stepped over a line, feel free to tell me to fuck off and I will understand. No hard feelings on that front, I hope.
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The Man With No Band
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1/30/2009 7:20:37 AM
No way Todd !!!! ... I mean about hard feelings ....
Never man ....
I'm not proud of who I am at all times .... but I am me at all times ...
... and you are right ... it is both a blessing and a curse ....
I don't go to bars anymore .... it's not a good place to say what you really mean ... but it did teach me how to be tough ... or die ... :)
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The Man With No Band
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1/30/2009 7:58:52 AM
Todd ... I'd like to go on a bit more if I may ....
Strangely ... now that I think about it ... I have been alienated by very few people ...
I have met thousands of people through my life ... from all walks of life ... and I can only think of maybe 4 people or so that hard feelings ever developed ...
Partly ... I think ... my roughness is excused on the part of others because I am real ... I don't lie ... I don't cheat ... I don't steal ...
I'm very hard on myself, but seldom anyone else ... and I would take a bullet for a complete stranger in a heart-beat ...
Any one and everyone is welcome at my home (well when I had a home) ... I've never locked my doors my entire life ... ever ...
I will stick up for someone being bullied or cheated or threatened, whether I know them or not ...
You can knock on my door at 3am ..4am... Noon... or any other time and I will get up and go pull your car out of the ditch ... or go talk to your spouse ... or just have a drink or smoke a phatty with you ....
None of this makes me any better than anyone else ... it just makes me available ... 24 hours a day ... seven days a week ... and I will always greet you with a smile ....
because ....
I LOVE LIFE !!!
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Auset
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1/30/2009 9:30:23 AM
true... with all kinds of shades of gray.
I've been just shocked over the past few months. I personally have made a conscious effort to interact here. I have very little time in my life, endless tasks, work, kids, etc... yet have really tried to make an effort to be more involved. But in that time, I have been both inspired and appalled at some of the interactions here.
... computer road rage!
I don't get it. Words are so very powerful. We are all songwriters here... this is a fundamental understanding... the power of our words... and the impact they have on others.
Yet in conversation, somehow folks seems to think its ok to say whatever they want, however they want, whenever they want... no holds barred. Oftentimes, this is sadly mistaken for honesty , or worse "freedom of speech". Well, that's not how it works. All freedoms come with responsibility!!!
And with honesty, there is duality, duality in everything... its just not that simple to say something is honest or not... because it will always be reflected from our own individual perspective... which at times can be quite skewed... and oftentimes confused with opinion. Trust me, in my home... I have endless opinions of the world. I am a constant fixer of things, broken and sometimes not. I am an aquarian, so my mind never stops... and sensitive to everything and everyone.
So, how to find the balance...
Well, that's where a few wise adages come in handy:
1. It's not what you say, but HOW you say it.
2. Do on to others as you would have others do unto you.
3. There is a time and place for everything.
4. People who think before they speak will often never say a word
5. If you can't say something nice, don't say anything
and so much more...
I can't tell you how many times I've typed a page long comment, or even started talking of myself beyond the realm of the topic... then just deleted it down to a sentence. It is cathartic to write/type out our thoughts... it helps ground us and hopefully clarify emotions... but do we send it to the world? If I hit the send button every time I processed my opinion... I would no doubt, do more injury than good. That is what is SO lovely about computers... you can write, rewrite, and rewrite again... or you can delete it entirely... then go back to it after further processing.
Honesty is the best policy... but depending on what form of honesty we are seeking, there is a time and place... if direct disagreement occurs, deal with it directly, and hopefully respectfully first. Name calling is simply empty violence... the art of debate has tremendous value... the art of calling someone an ass without ever saying it, is verbal aikido that goes a long way.
But ultimately folks, we're in a PUBLIC forum having a PUBLIC conversation...
and regardless of topic, of opinion, of "honesty"... when in public there are simple basic expectations of behavior. I agree with Todd and feel certain that most things people say here in anger and disagreement, would never be handled the same way if we were all sitting around a table together.
Are we helping or hurting?
eek... that there is some of my opinion... minus the expletives and name-calling.
p e a c e in every way.
Auset
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The Man With No Band
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1/30/2009 9:43:28 AM
Very well said Auset ....
I say that I am "real" and "honest" ... but I hope that doesn't mean I'm vulgar ... at least most of the time anyway ...
When I say that the words just flow out freely ... I think that they generally flow out with love ... and my tolerance level is rather high ... most of the time ...
But ... look out if it's something that is hurting women or children ... public or not ... it's my Achilles heel ... I'll just lose it ... I've seen way to much pain and suffering in my life by those who can defend themselves the least ...
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Auset
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1/30/2009 9:55:58 AM
me too Sam... I just try to avoid the tit for tat thing...
I definitely say more than not... at least with those closest to me.
And like you... I have a huge barometer for things fair and just... and when I look at what a mess our world is in, where I feel powerless and at the mercy of those who damage, deceive and screw everything up for the rest of us.... it just drives me nuts to watch people voluntarily cause pain here, over and over again. And don't get me wrong I'm not a fluffer. BUt This is where we do have power in choosing how to positively affect change... even in disagreement.
guess I just tend toward optimism.
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SILVERWOODSTUDIO
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1/30/2009 2:11:10 PM
Todd ---- Sam--- Andy-----and all!
Auset--!!!!
fine words there ----another Aquarian eh ? We share that ---in fact my birthday is February 1st !!!
whoosh---that's tomorrow ---I love your new song and have added to top 50!
'IN THE MIDDLE OF THE END'
http://iacmusic.com/songs.aspx?SongID=71464&ArtistID=62556
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The CODE
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1/30/2009 2:53:18 PM
Happy Birthday for tomorrow Rob!
Send me ur email address - ours is:
colin@the-code.co.uk
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Chris Hance
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1/30/2009 3:47:40 PM
Happy Birthday for tomorrow Rob!
Send me ur email address - ours is:
colin"the-code.co.uk
should maybe sub @ for the " wink, lest the sniffer bots.....added 2 book cheerz
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Richard Scotti
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1/30/2009 4:41:19 PM
Happy Birthday, Rob! You'll be a year younger tomorrow. ("I was so much older then, I'm younger then than now" - Bob Dylan.
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SILVERWOODSTUDIO
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1/30/2009 5:12:29 PM
Thanks fellas
Don't want to bogart Todds thread--! -but-
"forever young" ---Bob again!
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Bob Elliott
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1/30/2009 6:56:02 PM
---- Updated 1/30/2009 8:05:59 PM
I must be reading other threads than you all. This place seems so mellow. And anyway, reviews, if what you're really talking about are reviews and not just general conversation, reviews in writing are just a different animal.
Forums, too, are a different animal. i mean, through history there were journals where people would say their say in a public but written manner, and it's got a different set of habits than meeting and hanging out.
Just different. Fact is, I don't know you all as people I've met in person. You're all public writers. Forums have a certain 'game' element to them, and kind of an entertainment game, too. So people play around, but you know, sometimes people get mad. In the back of it all there's this thing that it's not all that big of a deal. I mean, it's all not gonna end up really on your doorstep, so it's different than real life.
And if I meet any of you, then that all changes right when we meet. Now we've met. Then we'd have a laugh about how silly online life can be and start as real life people relating in real time.
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The Man With No Band
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1/30/2009 7:47:37 PM
Bob ... I kind of disagree with the whole idea that meeting people on the internet and meeting people in real life are two different things ... Yes there are some pretty good fakers on the internet, but the real world is full of pretty good fakers too ... How many times to do read about some wacko doing something in real life and all of his family members and friends and neighbors say "Gee ... he's always been this terrific guy ... I've known him for years" ... the fact of the matter is we really know no one ...
Sure sometimes words can be misinterpreted on the net because there is no way to attach proper emotion to the words ... but it has been my experience that a lot of times, what you see on the net is the real person, even moreso than when they are in the real world ... as Todd pointed out ... some people will actually let it all hang out and say the things they really mean on the net, but things they dare not say in the real world ...
I have been lucky enough to actually meet people that I've met on-line ... and in every case so far ... they are the same people that I was talking to through a screen ...
Words are very powerful ... you can tell a lot about a person through his/her words ...
Example .... The Beatles ...
When you read John's Lyrics the picture that comes out about John is pretty much what those that knew him say he was ... a rebel, a guy who did not like authority, a guy who could be an A-hole, etc. etc.
When you read Paul's Lyrics the picture that comes out is the same ... a little more whimsical, a love song kinda guy etc. etc.
When you read Ringo's lyrics ... it's Ringo all over again ... a lot more whimsical, a guy who just wants to have fun
When you read Harrison's lyrics ... you see George ... a lot of deep spirituallality
Now ... not each of their songs fit into this catagorie ... just as we do not all feel the same everyday ... but the reoccuring themes in each of their lyrics pretty much describes who they were ..
I did not know them ... but I have read their bio's and auto bio's ... and this confirms the fact ... they were, for the most part, what they wrote ...
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Bob Elliott
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1/30/2009 7:54:45 PM
Yeah, you know, you can get a feel for whom you would maybe hang with that you know on the net, but I still think the whole forum atmosphere is a kind of game, and some play it more anonymously and for fun, and that never bothers me. Just if it's good reading or not.
But I'm not particularly aggressive on the net, I don't think. I just am not bothered much by that stuff, and if the participants are getting a kick out of it, then whatever.
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The Man With No Band
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1/30/2009 8:01:38 PM
Well ... I generally do get a kick out of your scribbles Bob ... :)
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