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Old Man Warner
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1/14/2024 2:06:39 PM
Big Announcement

10/31/2023 1:33:46 PM
every day is a new day

4/12/2023 5:37:36 AM
I must've died and went to heaven.

10/20/2019 6:13:31 PM
I might change my name

9/13/2019 1:20:23 PM
When things stop working

6/5/2019 7:55:23 AM
Money is everything in this world.

3/12/2019 10:48:40 AM
I found a cereal box in my cupboard from 1964

12/16/2018 4:52:56 PM
Did anybody nominate me for a Golden Kayak this year?

11/20/2018 3:20:48 PM
the secret to my youth

10/23/2018 6:09:16 AM
I don't got nothin' to say either.

9/20/2018 2:41:12 PM
I fell down again last night

7/10/2018 6:50:26 PM
I wonder

6/5/2018 10:18:09 PM
I get older every day

2/21/2018 3:37:14 AM
I'm turning 100 in May

1/9/2018 12:13:52 AM
I lost my glasses at the 5 and dime.

11/28/2017 2:09:44 PM
Verity, what gives?

11/10/2017 11:31:20 AM
I used to be young once.

11/3/2017 12:31:12 AM
Did anybody miss me?

8/9/2017 7:21:20 PM
Things just aren't the way they used to be.

6/24/2017 8:23:34 PM
What about me?

6/8/2017 9:57:26 PM
Sgt Pepper Remix debuts at #3 on Billboard 200 albums chart

4/14/2017 11:19:18 PM
I just made my longest ever post and the internet ate it.

4/1/2017 4:28:47 PM
Yeah I heard it.

1/30/2017 10:35:31 AM
I've had the same wallet for 59 years

1/29/2017 11:28:38 AM
I was out chasin' girls last night

1/27/2017 10:43:43 AM
I'm too old and tired to live anymore.

1/6/2017 7:56:09 AM
Does anybody know anything about Alzheimers?

12/23/2016 11:42:05 AM
The other day my grocery store lady didn't remember my name

10/21/2016 8:36:13 AM
I miss the good ol' days

8/18/2016 8:12:12 AM
I lost my left sock.

7/16/2016 10:56:26 AM
I'm getting old.

5/13/2016 5:38:14 AM
I heard somebody was asking where I was.

4/30/2016 5:26:30 AM
Nobody wished me a happy birthday!

4/8/2016 7:26:47 PM
An open letter to the world.

4/2/2016 7:15:03 AM
I don't like new-fangled stuff at all.

3/14/2016 6:33:06 AM
Daylight Savings Time makes me groggy.

2/10/2016 6:37:12 AM
I'm tired of social media

1/30/2016 1:26:01 PM
Ever have one of those kind of days where you feel really old?

1/20/2016 3:03:47 PM
I'm tired of living.

12/23/2015 8:34:41 AM
My dang foot hurts

12/5/2015 10:36:02 AM
Health is everything, isn't it?

11/26/2015 8:04:35 AM
I'm too old for Thanksgiving

11/12/2015 12:30:38 AM
Today is the first day of..

10/31/2015 1:36:15 PM
Halloween is stupid

10/30/2015 2:52:42 AM
I wish i knew what it was like to be beautiful

10/24/2015 12:29:39 PM
The tomatoes have been good this year.

10/6/2015 5:23:34 AM
Where's my remote?

9/26/2015 6:26:38 PM
Life is hard

9/18/2015 12:15:00 PM
Somebody knocked down my mailbox.

9/13/2015 10:00:43 AM
Did I leave my coffee mug here yesterday?

11/4/2013 7:45:20 AM
It's ridiculous

9/23/2009 1:22:29 AM
I sure ain't what I used to be

9/5/2009 2:54:33 PM
I miss the old sodie fountains.

4/21/2009 7:08:33 AM
Did anybody see my lawn chair?

3/11/2009 4:24:51 AM
People drive too fast.

2/25/2009 8:21:54 AM
I started my own music page and recorded my very first song. Come and give a listen, young'uns.

2/21/2009 6:22:01 PM
What happened to TV shows like Howdy Doody and Wyatt Earp?

2/19/2009 6:05:26 PM
They don't make shoefly pie like they used to.

1/27/2009 11:36:19 AM
It doesn't get said enough.

10/21/2008 10:39:12 PM
The world was better 40 years ago.

9/16/2008 11:08:20 PM
Pack of crazy fools



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Old Man Warner

10/30/2015 2:52:42 AM

I wish i knew what it was like to be beautiful
I was being interviewed the other day by the AARP and the woman asked me if I have any regrets. This got me to thinkin'. There were 2 things I think I missed the boat on. One is, I never owned a fancy sportscar, I always wanted to drive one on Highway 1. The other thing bothers me more. I was never beautiful. I always had to struggle for whatever attention I got. I made an asshole out of myself many times, but I did have my way with the ladies, the ones that like a good personality, anyhoo.

But I just wonder about, dream about having the kind of power that when you walk into the room, all the girls want you. What it must be like to be born beautiful. You know, I think if I had it to do over again, I'd get plastic surgery to make meself a handsome man. I'd get the flab sucked out of my ass, I'd buy me some designer jeans too. Maybe I'd even wear a crown. I sure wish I had a chance to do it all over again. As it stands I'm fixin' to die soon. I hardly get anything I ask for these days. A good steak, I can't chew it. I call my friends on the phone and they play phone games, then send a short little text back and I don't even know how to read my darn texts right.


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10/30/2015 3:04:33 AM


Oh, you sweet man! Do you believe in fate? before seeing your post I made one myself that is somewhat related.

Exterior beauty it overrated and short lived. Don't think about dying at the expense of living.


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Noah Spaceship

10/30/2015 11:47:18 AM


People stare at you a lot and forget what they were talking about when you unintentionally gaze in their eyes for too long. It's easy to get hired by most managers, and people you swear you've never met, swear they know you from somewhere.

Old men, women and young children are generally beautiful per natural disposition, like kittens and other cute creatures.


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Bryon Tosoff

11/3/2015 6:56:40 PM ---- Updated 11/3/2015 6:58:14 PM


Noah spaceship are you saying guys are jerks, er I mean ugly (inside, like not beautiful outside , or both. no mention of the male species in your note
are we hopeless? not nice

Good
Bad
Ugly

Clint Eastwood was Good.


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Holo Lukaloa

11/3/2015 7:06:32 PM


Eastwood was a twat at the last Republican convention.


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Bryon Tosoff

11/3/2015 9:41:49 PM


yah, he should have stuck to making movies


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Noah Spaceship

11/4/2015 8:41:43 AM


No, I was just describing what it's like to be so goddamn good looking. :)


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Noah Spaceship

11/4/2015 8:42:55 AM


...I guess that makes me a vain jerk, so, actually, yes-ish to your question, Bryon.


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