Stoneman
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3/17/2011 3:08:45 PM
---- Updated 3/17/2011 3:12:47 PM
"Unbridled Lust"
I remember when it began. I was about 5 years old and in my kindergarten class there was a piano. I had never seen one before and when my teacher started playing it for us I was immediately infatuated. No one in my neighborhood had a piano. We all thought they were for rich people. But there it was, all shiny and sleek. The allure of it was like the bright light they say dead people are lured towards. I just had this overwhelming feeling to get on that dang thing and play. So, instead of going to recess everyday I would sneak back into the room and sit there playing with the piano. It was like magic. Within months I was playing the melodies to all my favorite songs. My lust for music had begun and there would be many more instruments that stole my heart long before I reached my current status as being in the 3rd quarter of a mans life.
I had some serious affairs with drums, Saxophones, Bass and guitars. I even had a brief summer fling with a flute that I had stolen from a kid on the bus. Well, I grew up in Thug Ville USA so its no wonder that I was a little music lusting thug. My first Saxophone was stolen also. But I got that one from a dude on the streets who always sold good stuff for small change. Anyway, I sang lead in the wine and cool aide doo wop crew that opened up daily in the alley around the corner from my house. They were all drunks but they thought that the kid (me) was an awesome vocalist and I could seldom pass by them without being goaded into singing the lead in their varied array of R&B melodies. Motown was the shit then! So was I when it came to alleyway concerts. Years later it even continued in Viet Nam. Once we were at a USO concert and a visiting admiral who had failed in leading the troops in song asked if anyone from the troops would be willing to sing a song and perform for the entertainers who had taken the time to come all the way across the ocean to perform for us. I got up and sang a medley of Temptations songs acappella in front of 7000 Jarheads. Later, that Admiral told me it was the bravest thing he had ever seen. Go figure!
All I am saying is that my entire life has been consumed by this lustful need to hear, write, produce and perform music. It is the only reason I didn’t wind up in prison for killing my abusive foster parent. Music was my escape from all that pain. It became my obsession and without it I would probably have been dead from drugs and crime a long time ago. Well, I can say for sure that all my friends I grew up with wound up being dead from drugs, crime, violence and prisons. But me? I toured all over the place with band after band after band. I even toured the prison circuit where I often saw my childhood friends. Go figure that to……
The best way to describe my lust for all things music is to say that it is sonic heroine that I “must have“. I must have it every day. I must play an instrument or sing a lick everyday. When I don’t I begin to feel sick inside. It’s like some kind of musical withdrawal or something. I lay down and go to sleep and my wife says that I hum and even pat my feet under the sheets while I‘m sleeping. It is with out a doubt the only thing I have done in my life that I can truly point to as being “well done”. Everything else has been a challenge for me. But music just came easy and then became the 5000 pound gorilla on my back. Yet, I carry that Gorilla with the same ease that I use to carry a joint in my pocket. The difference is that I didn’t “have” to smoke that joint. But I “have” to do music. I have to stroke those keys, pluck those strings and caress that microphone.
Now, my hands are so arthritic that playing my keyboard or guitar for more than an hour at a time has become extremely painful. But there I am in my little studio grinning and bearing the pain through the latest song I am writing. I am reminded of my Aunt who died from lung cancer. I remember she would have a cigarette in one hand and an oxygen tank in the other. Damn! She just had to “Have” a smoke even though her body had withered down to 80 pounds of hanging flesh. Music became the girlfriend that I never gave up. I love my wife and my family. But if they died I would probably will myself to keep on living until it is my time to leave this earth. But I know for sure that the day someone takes my music away from me, it will be the day that I will head on up to that melodic symphony in the sky. As the song goes :“there’s going to be some sweet sounds, going down, on the night shift”
What about you? I often wonder if I am just crazy and if being so caught up in music is a weird thing. What do you think? How much do you love writing, producing or performing music? I would love to hear your story or your thoughts on this thing I refer to as “unbridled Lust”. I bet a few of you thought this would be about sex. Hahahaha, shame on you……….
Always Respect,
Stoneman
This song kind of goes with this blog!
http://iacmusic.com/songs.aspx?SongID=86685&ArtistID=12693
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Shoe City Sound
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3/17/2011 8:50:00 PM
Oh this is a wonderful story! Thanks so much for sharing it.
I fell in love with the piano when I was really young too. The piano keyboard is one of the most beautiful things I ever saw - just so perfect ... and then to make such a rich and complete sound as well! (not to mention what happened to my brain when the keyboards started to be on synthesizers)
I can't say I've ever felt lustful about it (haha) it's more like a life line to me - sort of like air.
If there's music playing the whole atmosphere changes around you - sort of makes it safe and possible to see the truth. If a million people say life sucks, when you have your favorite song playing, you know they're wrong.
The most satisfying thing I ever get to do is play/sing out loud the sounds that I hear in my head. I want to put a soundtrack out there for everyone - to ease people's minds (if I can) and take the focus off the fear that seems to be all around these days - lighten things up - keep a cinema type cocktail party going on in the background. Music and dance and a sense of humor is the way I like to fight back and never hurt anyone while I'm doing it.
I never wrote a song about how music makes me feel, but after listening to "It's So Exciting" I think I'd like to give it a try.
Thanks again for telling your tale, Stoneman.
Dolores
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Tom O'Brien
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3/27/2011 6:27:16 PM
You are part of a priesthood, Stoneman. A shamanic quest for sounds which speak the truth in a way only your soul can hear. We can never really define music, we can only make it. You can talk about music all you want, but until someone makes a noise, it's not worth much. I think we all here have the ecstatic disease that is music. I love the term "sonic heroin." Can I use it in a song?
I can't remember a time when I didn't sing. I think my parents were always singing, so we kids sang too. It was just natural. My older brother played guitar and so there was always one around. When my sister showed me my first chords when I was about 13, it was like I was making magic. I played every waking hour and tried to figure out the strange notations in my brother's songbooks. When I was about 16, I got a job in a music store which rented out band instruments as well as guitars and such. They used to let me borrow instruments to learn. I'm by no means a virtuoso, but I can make a decent sound on a lot of instruments.
I feel about music the way Picasso felt about art - he said something to the effect of: If I were reduced to it, I would make art with my wet tongue on the dusty floor of my cell. (paraphrased - I'd love for somebody to find the actual quote). Once you have music as part of your brain, it can't be taken away. It enriches our lives. It's more than just a distraction from the everyday. It actually re-wires our brains so that they think differently. I'm so thankful that there are people like you who understand the necessity of music in our lives. Lust can be a powerful thing.
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Stoneman
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3/29/2011 7:00:01 PM
Dolores,
I can totally relate to your comments about when keyboards and synths first showed up. It was like all of a sudden there were all these great instruments that did so many things. Amazing! Thanks so much for your kind words about “It’s So Exciting”. I enjoyed reading about your musical journey.
Chandra,
I love that comment and I agree with you 100%. Thanks….
Tom,
Man you slay me with such great honor and respect with your words. I hope I can continue to live up to that. I am thankful to have met and heard so many artists like you. Absolutely YES! Please feel free to use the words Sonic Heroin in a song. Be sure to point it out to me so I can hear it when its done. That was a cool quote from Picasso. I can tell that you see it (music) the same way that I do.
Rob?
I don’t know what happened but the content of your post is missing. Could you re-post it? Would love to read it.
Respect,
Stoneman
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