What gives your life meaning? by Tom O'Brien on The Pipeline at IndieMusicPeople

What gives your life meaning?
Seriously. I just read Victor Frankl's book "Man's Search for Meaning" which says, among other things, that 1. Life without meaning is pointless and 2. Our ultimate freedom is that we can choose how to react to any given situation. (He himself maintained optimism even in a Nazi concentration camp).

My first thought was that the arts and creativity give my life meaning - but on thinking farther, is my music doing anyone any good? Is it changing the world? Hardly.

I think we all change the world in little ways with our music, but is that enough to give life meaning? We don't all need to be Gandhi or Mother Theresa to have meaning, but I don't want to just live and die without feeling I've made some contribution to society.

For whatever reason, I've decided that love is the ultimate expression of human existence. We are the only animal to develop it. (Maybe dogs are catching on). But my life has more meaning the deeper I am able to love and the more I can express it. I'm not talking about love between a couple, I'm talking about love in the larger sense - love of everything and everyone.

What gives your life meaning?

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never never band

6/6/2010 1:27:08 PM

Interacting with kids.

My own kids, my students at the music school and the kids I work with at the radio station.
They're amazing, clever, and they maintain this youthfull exuberance and thoughfulness even when eveything is crashing down.
and when they do get sad it's a genuine thing, it quite often comes from a truly deep concern for their fellow man.

I'd be lost without em.

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Hop On Pop

6/6/2010 1:41:16 PM

I need to repeat:
KIDS

Specifically, my own kids.
But yeah, kids in general keep my eyes open just a little wider than they would be otherwise. The way they see things around them and are so naturally open to all that they see. You know that, when you get a smile from a kid, that it is a genuine smile.
Pure happiness.

Love.

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Bryon Tosoff

6/6/2010 1:42:38 PM ---- Updated 6/6/2010 1:43:17 PM

I like this blog Tom and Scott's and Todd's responsesare right on, I work with youngsters and teen students in music classes that I give and it is a pleasure and a privilege to do so, yes they do indeed have a freshness and newness in and joy of life,perhaps it is because they have not been intoxicated with the weariness or the day to day grind that we, me might be experiencing , have experienced , and well maybe weighted down with the constant routines and or worries.

but personally I can answer it this way:

I get meaning from helping others,I think that is the most effective way to be fulfilled as a human, getting some satisfaction and sense of accomplishment through encouraging, motivating and inspiring adults, children teens in their music pursuits, as well as interacting and exchanging ideas not only in music, but life in general what they are interested in, and how things are going....

there is my little bit. kinda what you both have said, just re-iterated

bryon

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culeoka

6/6/2010 6:59:00 PM

Indeed Gentleman, If you have them, It's the kidds.

There's a certain indescribable fealing of - How Fucking Cool Is That - when I see there eyes start to widden just a-little, as comprehension starts to set in. The corners of the mouth raise the face into a grin of understanding.

Yes Sir. That is what gives my life meaning.

Music, Family and Friends are just a really cool bonus.

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SILVERWOODSTUDIO

6/6/2010 7:26:17 PM

we are all on the same page

My Kids (5) their friends, my students,and the new ones just starting to walk and talk----
Last night my boy Tom came home for a week with 2 mates from Uni
They are so 'in the moment'
I was having a practice in the studio and they came in with a tiny casio keyboard
,which I plugged in I set up the drum kit and a Xylophone and a couple of mics and went upstairs----it was a riot!!!
Lucky there's nothing interesting on TV--- they drowned out any competition and went hard for about 2 hours ---all original --never to be repeated-- noise!!!!!

but ---it disgusts me the world we are leaving them!!!!

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Jesse Adams

6/7/2010 9:53:28 AM

Stamp collecting.

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Jeff Allen Myers

6/7/2010 1:01:24 PM

It is quite simple, My Son gives my life meaning now. There is no bond more powerful then that of Parent and Child. I think nature intended it this way to ensure our survival. :) Of course, some Parents are lacking in this department, and I find that quite sad.

Although I still have interests and goals, many of them are now tied directly to my Family's well being.

Regards,

Jeff

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Troy Beadles

6/8/2010 3:25:51 AM

My Music, Women, Beer & Sports. Sums that up!

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Andy Broad

6/9/2010 4:13:55 AM

My music, without it life would be pretty shallow. Or does my music just express the meaning in my life?

Loved ones whether friends or family are clearly important too!

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Chris Hance

6/9/2010 4:27:26 AM ---- Updated 6/13/2010 2:18:14 AM

Tom,
I have forgotten hope or meaning since I lived here amongst the bigots and prejudiced, the materialists, the greedy selfish.

I used to stand up against this, to fight for justice and equalty, but I've been beaten into submission, years of hate and attacks have worn me down,
My life is tinged with sadness and despair, I'm blacklisted here, not just musically, I have been give a five year deletion threat.The guy already tried to blind me, He lives nearby. I've pleaded with the authorities to help,
To stop the guy from deleting me I have to delete myself.

My only hope is to get as much of my music as possible up online, and also saved to a main database and then I am going off to the next dimension.
I have a lot of stuff here on tapes, cds, dvds, I'll never get it all up, if I get half way or most onto a central database
Anyway thats my life,

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Tom O'Brien

6/11/2010 6:54:13 PM

Hey Data Thieves man, your words have been wafting through my head for several days now. I wish I had a box of meaning I could dole out, but I don't.

The world may never make sense to you, but that doesn't mean there isn't sense to it.

I don't want to preach, but before you kill yourself, you better make sure you have absolutely no music left to give. And we all know how much great music has come from pain. Let there be meaning in your pain. Don't just live a painful life and flicker out. Live a painful life and let the world be a better place for you having given it your music.

Every note ever sung has changed the world a little. Music is such a great force.

Happiness may be elusive, but there are plenty of people, professional and not, who will listen to your story. You want to tell us more? We're here.

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Reality Check

6/11/2010 7:49:00 PM

Beer.

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Chris Hance

6/12/2010 4:33:42 AM

Thanks for caring Tom, I do appreciate that.
As for saying more about my situation, I cant at the moment,

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Conversation Suicide

6/12/2010 4:44:42 AM

whaaa ???

um. hang in there Chris.

honestly, it's not impossible.

yet.

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Chris Hance

6/13/2010 2:17:19 AM

Tom,
In view of certain internet legal aspects I have edited my post above and altered the "k word" to "delete",

CS, I did think of hanging, but I'm not going anywhere soon, I have a mammoth task of backing up stuff from disks,
Also, I cant "go anywhere" soon, as I have a slight "id issue" making travel difficult....

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Tom O'Brien

6/15/2010 3:03:13 PM

I'm so encouraged by those who you who cite your kids as the things that give your life meaning. If there's one thing that all life has in common, it's the need for continuation. We are all part of a big chain of learning and growing and to be able to pass things on to your kids makes the world a better place.

I'm 47 and childless, sad to say. When I was younger and more likely to have kids (indeed, I wanted a brood of them) I was going through my bipolar disorder days and was in no emotional state of mind to be a dad. I felt it wouldn't be fair to a kid to have a dad like me. (Kind of like Groucho's remark that he wouldn't join any club which would have him for a member).

But now I'm in a wonderful place emotionally, intellectually, physically. My partner says I can still have kids with someone else (she's 50). She knows I'd never do that. So I'm a little saddened not to have the experience of fatherhood. So I hope my music and my paintings and my writing find a little foot-hold in the world and make some difference when I'm gone. I guess my creative output has taken the place of my children.

I love having been a teacher though. I've given music to a lot of kids that way and their echos will be heard for years to come. I may not see the ripples I've created, but I feel better having thrown the stone.

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Tom O'Brien

6/15/2010 3:03:21 PM

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Pulse Eternal

6/16/2010 11:18:12 AM

I'm possibly going to get darts thrown at me by some for this but the question was asked of everyone here and I'm being honest so here goes.........

Knowing that there's salvation and eternal life through faith in Jesus Christ and His death and resurrection gives my life meaning.

John 3
16 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.
17 For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved.
18 He that believeth on him is not condemned: but he that believeth not is condemned already, because he hath not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God.

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Tom O'Brien

6/16/2010 6:02:50 PM ---- Updated 6/16/2010 6:09:42 PM

Hey Aus, I think it's cool that you believe in something so firmly and that it gives your life meaning. Personally, I don't believe Jesus was the Son of God, so you probably think I'm going to hell. This is NOT a challenge - so don't try to convert me.

I think Jesus was a genius of love and that is certainly a very groovy thing. I believe in all the loving things he said and try to model my actions on many of them.

You might appreciate my song, "Love Your Enemies." Check it out.

Love Your Enemies

And good for you for putting your beliefs out there so boldly as you do.

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Stoneman

6/16/2010 9:26:51 PM

There are many things that give my life meaning. First let me say that my life has in no way been a bed of roses. I was an abandoned and abused child. By age 12 I was homeless. The first half of my life can only be described as "pure hell". Daily beatings, 13 bouts with pneumonia and a brain tumor. I became a drug addict, street gang enforcer, and habitual drop out. Which basically means that I dropped out of school, the foster care system and in many ways the human race for quite a while. All this made me a prime candidate for war and sanctioned battlefield murder. But it also gave my life meaning because it gave me a special empathy for people who are caught up in the "struggle" to find hope. Basically, it qualified me to become a professional "struggle" coach.

After the war I began to see the light. No really, I saw the light of God and was changed. I went back to school (protestant seminary) and became a prison chaplain. My mission became a passion to help people who were just like me. You know? the so called dregs of society. What I didn't realize was that while I was helping them I was also helping myself. The first time that I walked through the iron gates of San Quentin I knew I had found a way to break through the gates of hell and bring the light I had found to so many who lived in darkness. I knew right away that something special was about to happen. It was like bringing water to the desert. I was a familiar soul to them. One of their own who had been blessed to be changed and willing to share what he had learned. Most of them knew me already. I even remember a day when I hugged a childhood enemy who had shot me when I was 13 years old. We had tried to delete each other several times. But on that day we hugged as brothers and forgave each other. I had been a street soldier and they all knew the monster I once had been. When they all saw the new me, they were just blown away. Each year for almost 30 years I visited 32 prisons, juvenile halls, California Youth Authority facilities and correctional fire camps sharing the good news about the love of God. My message was simple. No matter who they were or where they were "Hope was and is still alive". I often took my shirt off and showed them the many wounds on my body. I proved to them that all scars will heal if they are ministered to properly. I never preached about hellfire and brimstone. After all, they were already in a place like hell. I preached about love and the power that it gives us all. Not only God's love but the love we give ourselves and others. I was blessed to see hundreds of men women and children get released and changed into new people with new lives. I even walked the halls of death row and shared the love of God with those who were condemned to death. Some of them knew me personally from my past life of crime. Others gave me respect just because I gave it to them.

Now, I could talk about my music and all the great awards, prizes and money I have earned over the years. I could talk about the over 800 songs in 12 musical genres I have written and produced. But when I really think about it, my accomplishments in music pale in comparison to the people I helped. All the instruments I play are fun and I love them. But, being able to help change the lives of thousands of people dwarfs whatever sounds I can make through a horn, guitar, keys or my voice.

What gives my life meaning is all the lives that I have helped to find meaning. The love that lives within me has been multiplied by thousands and they continue to spread it like a spiritual virus to others all over the world. I conceded long ago that my music will never be that powerful. I am okay with that. I mean, I would write and produce music if no one ever heard it or liked it. I love this shit man......

So, I must say that I enjoyed answering this powerful question. Please understand that it was not always this way for me. I often tried to "delete myself" in many different ways. I mean, even as a child I was the one who ran towards the gun fire. I just didn't give a damn. But I believe that God would not let me go. He had a plan for my life. I believe that we all have been put here for a purpose and if we just hang around long enough the plan will be revealed to us. I mean, look at me. I was a elementary school drop out. Now I have degrees in religion, recording engineering and music industry studies. A counselor once told me that I would be dead before my 21st birthday. That same person now asks me for advice. I proved them all wrong. The police, teachers, social workers, gang members and all. I have done everything that they said I would never do. I learned how to give and receive love. The love that lives within me has become me. More than anything else, love gives my life meaning.

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Tom O'Brien

6/18/2010 7:21:37 PM

What a great and inspiring story, Stoneman. For sure, life is about lives touching other lives, about us caring for each other, nurturing each other. What a deep well you have from which to draw. Even though you call it GOD and I call it LOVE, we're talking about the same thing. Isn't it in the Gospel of John where he says, "God is love, and he who abides in love, abides in God and God in him? Love is my God. It gives me life, it gives me meaning. Just like God, I'll never fully understand it. And I don't know why I have such faith in it, I just do.

I think sharing your love through music is a very spiritual way to be. I'm glad you hung around, just so we could all hear your story. Ever think of writing an autobiography?

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Bob Elliott

6/19/2010 9:46:21 AM

Love of all those I love, pussy, music, the natural world...

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Stoneman

6/21/2010 11:36:08 AM

It doesn't matter to me what you call it. I am not hung up on labels. I call it God because it is something I can feel but cannot see. It is spiritual and for me that is God. My actions have been led by it so I see it as a form of super intelligent design. My life + my actions = God/love. I respect all religious and secular beliefs. After all, we all have to find our own way to happiness. I am not qualified to critique other folks belief systems. As long as it does not hurt anyone, I respect and often encourage it. So, yes, the scripture you wrote about is so important. I know so many Christians that have totally lost sight of love and have become firmly entrenched in tradition, ceremony and the doctrinal preachings of men. When this happens religion often becomes something that it was never intended to be. But that is a different post to talk about separately in a different forum subject.

Yes, I have written an autobiography. Maybe some day I will try to get it published! It's just not on my list of priorities right now. Today, my priority will be catching some Catfish at the lake. Tomorrow? Hmmmm, man, I love being retired. Everyday is my day to do whatever I feel like doing. That's love!

Bless Up!, Stoneman

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Richard Scotti

6/21/2010 3:11:58 PM

Life has no meaning but I love it anyway :-)

(yeah, family, friends and music give it purpose but the meaning of life eludes me.)

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Tom O'Brien

6/22/2010 6:03:29 PM

Richard, while I agree that life has no meaning, I didn't ask what the meaning of life was.

The question was, "What gives your life meaning?" What makes it worth going on day after day when you know you're just going to die in the end? What adds value to the time you spend? What makes some moments more special than others? What in the world speaks to your soul in a way that makes you glad you're here?

If nothing in your life has meaning and you have no hope of it ever having meaning, then I advocate suicide - but I think that's a sign of a broken brain.

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culeoka

6/22/2010 7:28:11 PM

Richard - ,,, The True meaning of life is simple. (insert bill&ted ripoff)

Be EXCELLENT to each other - and party on dude!

works for me

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Richard Scotti

6/23/2010 6:51:08 AM ---- Updated 6/23/2010 7:19:59 AM

Tom ~ I didn't explain my answer well. I don't agree with your interpretation of my post.

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The Man With No Band

6/23/2010 7:03:32 AM

Giving ... Loving ... Being ...

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Tom O'Brien

6/23/2010 10:47:59 AM

Sorry, Richard, I wasn't saying that you should kill yourself, or that you were without hope, I was just speaking of people in general. Didn't mean to personalize that.

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Richard Scotti

6/23/2010 2:46:08 PM

Thanks for clearing that up, Tom!

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Sephoria

6/24/2010 8:15:00 AM

What gives my life meaning- first off would be God followed by family. I love them so much they always there for me when I fall and when I rise.
My life has meaning when I can be there for someone less fortunate, When someone has fallen and doesn't have that support to get back up.
Being able to be me around people who love me without judgemental views.

My little family which is only 3 of us including me is enough for me to live life with meaning

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