Bruce Lee
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12/2/2009 11:30:03 AM
Tiger Woods - my version
Thanksgiving night, the family has finally vacated, hubby and wife sit peering at each other from opposite sides of the living room. Wife finally breaks, "I read that Enquirer, I know you are having and affair." Hubby quickly snaps back, "I knew this was going to happen! Man, why can't the media just leave me alone!!" Wife, "Don't blame this on the media, I know about your weakness for cute blondes, you haven't given me that look for over a year now!" Hubby, "You are the mother of my children, of course I look at you differently now." Wife, "You aren't attracted to me anymore." Hubby, "This is rediculous, I have private meetings with PR people, event planners, lawyers and sponsors all the time. Many of them are women. I am out of here, I am going to get a drink, I can't take this shit." Wife makes twitch in face as redness insues and trembling breaks into a banshee cry. She launches out of her chair and with Ninja reflexes draws 9 iron from bag of clubs carelessly left by front door. The hubby now in full blown sprint for SUV knows this scenario all to well,.. /wife threatens and chases me around with 9 iron, I carefully talk her out of her cabin fever inflicted rage and we have make up sex/ ...however, slightly panicked, he starts up vehicle and begins to back out of garage, but a disturbing calm falls over hubby as he realizes his wife sort of disapeared,... he confidently turns the vehicle around when, in the headlights he spots a blur of motion in the shadows. He begins to feel uneasy as his hopes of a smooth getaway disolves. "I better get the hell out of here, and fast!" he thinks to himself. He hits the gas and shoots out of the driveway onto the dark neighborhood street. He doesn't drive 50 feet when out of the trees comes the eerily familiar blur,.. it's the wife, she emerges from the trees and is now a blur in the middle of the road screaming like a mad punk rocker on meth swinging the 9 iron and charging head on with the SUV. Hubby panicks, swerves to miss the lunatic wife, runs over fire hydrant and strikes tree. Hubby doesn't have a chance to figure out what happened when wife bashes in window to locked SUV to get to the famous husband and hem him up. Hubby jumps out of SUV and chase ensues. They call the cops after make up sex.
the end
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