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chrysesofia
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4/4/2006 12:33:21 AM
this is what i do
A Muse Meant
an untame mind
glowed out of the black
rebuked and refined
and then faded back
returned to applause
an audience grown
from pregnant pause
to fledgling flown
sinister paradox lying in wait
defying the quarry to snatch at the bait
just to catch at the chance to unbend and create
so defensive i
hadn’t the sense
to think why
back at square one
dimensions were changed
heroic deeds done
declarations exchanged
the dialog swerves
drifts waxes and wanes
still swinging at curves
a persistence remains
to humor a cipher awash in abuse,
understand my position, accept no excuse,
walk on water and wait for the shit to shake loose
my word
you just want it
heard
hands of time moving under my skin
urge me forward, one more word, again you win
lose the weak will to waver you savor each drop
time of the essence, the time that won’t stop
misgivings take time
to reason away
but loss of the prime
extortion to pay
none shadowed more
mind’s eye that can’t see
blinded lifetimes before
hindsight comes back to me
mountains moving erode anything in the way
never proving you wrong at the end of the day
still listening until I have nothing to say
and that
bird
finds its wings
stirred
hands of time moving under my skin
fire the desire to let out what is in
lose the weak will to waver you savor each drop
time of the essence, the time that won’t stop
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
some seeds
you sow and let go
‘cause some weeds
just dare them to grow
and some needs
are too shy to show
but slow in the fertile below taking root
breaking the surface to send up a shoot
making the psyche bear down and bear fruit
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
ages have passed
you’re still at the scene
and pages at last
spill through the screen
improbable muse
to the diffident voice
not what i would choose
i’m not making a choice
change direction until the connection turns true
tune into intuition and watch it burn through
just trust, can't demand, the hands know what to do
when i let go
i get
flow
hands of time have spun wonderful under my skin
urged me forward, one more word, again you win
lost the weak will to waver you savor each drop
time of the essence, the time that won't stop
drop & roll the singed soul seething under my skin
let it smoulder, the older the scar the more thin
even burned cream churned will rise to the top
in time of the essence, the time that won’t stop
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4/4/2006 4:36:28 AM
In my exhaustion I found this, of course immediately realizing its significance. I read it over and over again, seizing the elusive moment. The things that ya live for don't come often, ya better soak in the feeling while the ink is still wet. I'll never understand why the bigger things seem to happen when my eyes are barely open. The stark times continue to pass by so methodically stark, but then when you're flying on the freeway, when you're bombarded by the world, some blue moon comes into the picture, almost ominously so.. because at this point in my being, I couldn't possibly be looking.
but it stopped me in my tracks.
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chrysesofia
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4/4/2006 12:22:27 PM
good. you should enjoy.
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4/4/2006 1:43:48 PM
"how exactly can i possibly, at arm's length, strike you as "the type who can easily get attention" whenever i need to?"
Surely you jest.. :D
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chrysesofia
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4/4/2006 2:35:32 PM
ha ... but this is not about needing to get attention. that's a spin you put on it.
it's the other direction. it's about feeling safe to let out--giving, not getting. which was supposed to be the point, was it not?
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4/4/2006 2:58:44 PM
not saying this was about needing to at all, just saying it's funny that you seem to at times question that you have the ability to.
it's kinda obvious that when you got the glow on, like you do above, your words are about as inconspicuous as a float coming down 5th avenue on Thanksgiving. haha
not to make you self-conscious or anything. :)
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chrysesofia
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4/4/2006 3:12:45 PM
well i guess i know they are probably not inconspicuous. but beyond that i have no idea what they =are=, in anyone else's estimation. so it's interesting to see, but can't change ... how i feel about it (which i guess has to do with the glow, its significance, its fuel), where it comes from and why.
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chrysesofia
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4/4/2006 3:26:10 PM
i guess it's a matter of being ready to accept the consequences of their conspicuousness.
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