father_time
|
8/29/2006 2:28:00 PM
I admit it, I killed JFK. Now do I get to be a media stah ?
I'm turning myself in today. The DNA may or may not match. There may be some evidence that I was not born then. But seriously now folks, I've left a trail of bizarre Emails and forum posts from one end of cyberspace to another. :D Can anyone doubt I have the mystique to pull off this assassination and associated TV story line ?
Nancy Grace left 46 messages on my voice mail before I even got done submitting this blog. The following is all the troof, soon to be featured on CNN, MSNBC, Fox News, and 24/7 on the Court Channel:
I appeared on the indie scene in 2000, more or less. A guy hacked my domain site to find out my identity and sent my address to my worst enemies (I moved after that). People still didn't believe I was a real person, the head of artist relations at mp3.com actually agreed to take a phone call from me to prove I existed. When that didn't work, I made the same phonecall to some high profile guy in the artist community named "the Count". He came on the boards to speak of how everybody was so wrong. Most still did not believe. A few years later I was asked to apply for this incredible pathetic artist rights organization known as Musicians United as a test to see if their policies were going to work for all artists. They actually ran my real name thru police services and thru a CIA connection and concluded that I'm exactly who I say I am. People still referred to me as an anonymous mystery after this, even moreso. I don't get the mystique. Though I guess my fellow rock icon Elvis had the same problems, eh ?
I'm not innocent in JFK's death. I was there when he died. I hate to admit this but I was even Jackie O's first lay, afterwards. Don't tell Bill O'Reilly this though, he'll be jealous of my prowess and rilly put me on the hot seat. By the way, my whole life has been a no spin zone, you jackass.
But I digress.. damn, those cable news shows are going to have a field day with my history. They're going to interview all the people I met on the internet. Course many of them will talk about all the fake FTs at mp3.com, dammit, get your facts straight, Fox News, ya bitches! Oh and my agent, a bigtime hiphop exec who goes by the name "muthafucka" presold the rights for my story for 1 trillion US dollars, cause the real killah of JFK will surely result in a media onslaught, no ? Don't worry though about me benefitting from my crime though, I'm donating all the proceeds to IAC. :)
ok I got to get back to my champagne and caviar, you'll be seeing my mug on TV a lot, don't change the channel, this is gonna be major..
|
|
Spank Momma
|
8/29/2006 5:15:47 PM
Man you have some vivid imagination mang. Were you the dude on the grassy knowl? I hear tell that Marilyn Monroes kin blew his freakin head clean off. We all know why. Them southern boys protect and get revenge on. Lee Harvey was just cleaning his gun up there, wuh, wud I do. You should write a book on how to get a rise out of people, imho your pretty good at it. I still remember that big black and white t.v saying the pres has been shot, Man I was but a little cus but I cried cus everone else cried, I thought he was my best friend cus we have the same first name. What a little naive I was. Buh waaah buh waaah. Buh waaaaah!
|
|