fly on the wall
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4/22/2024 1:22:58 AM
I'm starting to think I'm ready for adulthood.
A friend's birthday just passed on facebook, he died around a year ago. I'm surprised how well my memory still works. I remember his phone number still from my high school days, we used to talk about an hour every school night. We chased girls together. It's always been hard for me to come to grips with who I am as the years pass. Maybe I'm starting to like myself after all this time, though I'm not sure. If anything I've compartmentalized everything in such an extreme way. There's my work self, my artistic self, my secret badboy self, my normal social self, my political self. I know this artist lady from back in the year 2000. She used to say she has hundreds of personalities. I was in love with her at the time, maybe still am a bit, I wondered if for every personality she had, if I had a compatible one we might be a match. :D
but the truth is, all my personalities are lonesome, all alone, pretty much. Neil Young has a song (Everyone will) Touch The Night. My interpretation of that was that when it comes right down to it, we're all alone, at some point we'll have to face up to that. Sure, we got our people, our friends, our family, but where their head is at, that's ultimately up to them. If you're co-dependent that's another problem that usually has to work itself out in a difficult way. but if you can exist in this world and you like yourself, more or less, seems to me like the path you're on might be alright.
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