are you sensitive? by Noah Spaceship on The Pipeline at IndieMusicPeople

are you sensitive?
I am very sensitive to the emotional needs of others. It is my duty to cottle each and every one of the people around me so they feel warm and fuzzy inside. ..NOT!
Good lord grant me the angst I need to piss off the people in my life who need it the most. For crying out loud some artists have the thinnest skin. This is not the business to be in if you can't take a self proclaimed hecklers heckles. If you gig live, you know all to well what I am talking about. I have an aquaintance who was the road manager for a certain band who in the '90s toured with Nirvana. (Nirvana was the opening act) He hated Nirvana, and told us how bad they would get booed and heckled (pre smells like teen explosion) - He couldn't beleive that Kurt and the rest of the band could even go on stage show after show after receiving some of the flack he saw them receive. But they did, they bullied through. (not sure if you have ever heard of them, but they were quite a sensation in the 90s)
My point is that if you dish it out, you might want to be able to take it. I dish it out, and I am sensitive, but I try not to let it fuck my world when I have to take it. Kurt caved in,.. maybe,..? We don't really know, it is a mystery, and his drug abuse is something we hopefully don't fall into ourselves. Did Kurt give up? If you were in his shoes and you had critics telling you what they told him what would you do? There are some people who can't even take a joke let alone be critiqued by millions.
So, do you have the testicluar fortitude to be in this biz? Or are you yellow?

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Bryon Tosoff

9/22/2009 10:48:52 AM

hey Fred. I used to be sensitive to what others would say or infer., yeah...but the years seem to have thickened the heart....mind soul....I still love life.....every day is special. but I dont get caught up in what others may coment about me as a person a player....what ever....it is what is upstairs that counts and how you view yourself
I am a pretty self assured individual, nothing much tears me down, or gets to me
although I have had my dark times,.shrouds of darkness have descended numerous times..I just rip it off as best as I can...and look to the light beyond, but saying that, I am sensitive of other people....and their needs, it is the caretaker in me, the teacher mentor.....although I challenge the best ones with tact and push them to higher ground...most of my students are better players then me...more skilled technically and way more gifted by a huge margin...I just have had to work my butt off to get where I am now....and it has been a journey...I appreciated the opportunities and doors that have opened. I jump in.....the water is fine. swim even if it is upstream

now what the heck was that all about?

again I drift

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Noah Spaceship

9/22/2009 11:02:03 AM ---- Updated 9/22/2009 11:06:20 AM

self assured a dirty word

I am sensitive for sure. Sometimes I let critiques get under my skin, but it seems to be fleeting and a temporary bout with self confidence. I allow an element of doubt to shroud everything I see in life, for all I know this is just a dream, and all of you are a figment of my immagination.
I am with you as far as time has tempered my senses, and bouts with self doubt grow fewer and further between.
My motivation is an ironic one. Yeah, I want to break people down, just like I let my kids fall down and pick themselves back up. I don't beleive you learn a thing when someone is holding your hand and wispering sweet nothings in your sensitive ear. (unless it's your mommy, and even then, mommys can do severe inhibitve damage via over cottling)
But yeah, jump in the deep ravaging waters, trial by fire if you must, you will never learn to swim in the kiddy wading pool, you just end up being a big baby huey.

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Bryon Tosoff

9/22/2009 11:13:26 AM

Ha Self Ass-surred a dirty word,, oh Fred.....ahahahaha you rule

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the perfect banana

9/22/2009 11:24:01 AM

Kurt was killed by Courtney, do your homework. cobaincase.com

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Noah Spaceship

9/22/2009 11:52:40 AM

bryon,.. I wish I could claim that quote, but that was a kurt cobain lyric.

banana,.. you are a fucking idioT!!
you really need to read a little closer
I didn't imply that Kurt took his life or that Courtney killed him, if anything I am implying that he was successfull in shaking the critics.

you fucking conspiracy dope, HAHAHAHAH!
no wonder you are fucking banana, you are a spineless peice of fruit.

none of us but courtney know the truth.

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Product Recall

9/22/2009 11:56:19 AM

the way i see it if i'm so sad and pathetic, why do they discuss it so much and what the hell does that make them? Who's the more foolish? the fool or the fool who follows?

Oh well, what ever nevermind.

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Noah Spaceship

9/22/2009 11:57:27 AM

btw - did any of you read Shauna Skye's interview with Courtney's dad?
that was very cool. it lends to the theory that courtney had something to do with the death of kurt.
I would like to beleive that that was the truth just because I admire the fuck out of kurt, and hate the thought that he gave up and shot himself.
If he did actually commit suicide, I hope it was the drugs, and not him.
As tragic as the tale goes, He is one of my heros and always will be.

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Noah Spaceship

9/22/2009 11:58:21 AM

product - cheers, brother

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Bryon Tosoff

9/22/2009 12:29:11 PM

Fred pointed out.
"But yeah, jump in the deep ravaging waters, trial by fire if you must, you will never learn to swim in the kiddy wading pool, you just end up being a big baby huey."

bryon responds
"In other words. grow some balls"

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Noah Spaceship

9/22/2009 1:27:19 PM

@bryon, hahah, yeah, and lose the diaper

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HunkaFunk

9/24/2009 12:11:50 AM

It is a lie, and a front to protect yourself, by stating "I don't care what others think" Bullshit. You want people to think you are an intellectual angst ridden badass, who cares less about others than what others think. Get real man. Learn some humility sonny boy, or life will beat it in to you.

This whole angst thing is nothing new. It doesn't elevate, or efface you and your image. It's old news. Goodness, kindness, shared humanity, and amiable hospitality is the new cool. Get on board brother, the boat's sailing away, and all that's going to be left is the miserable wretches that have abandoned all civility for some fleeting rush of misguided angst. You are either going to grow old, and learn the ways of righteousness, or die a miserable curmudgeon...your choice.

Why don't you tell us all what is really bothering you?

Peace,
TF

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Bryon Tosoff

9/24/2009 12:34:35 AM

whatever Tim.....

that is your own opinion and take on life and it aint gonna fit mine or maybe anyone else here........

honestly I dont care if someone says something nasty or rude, been around this earth way too long brother to let that stuff get me.......

firstly I am not going to put myself in that environment or situation, especially the work place, or band, whatever , I got out of that trip years ago and run my own business, life and control my own destiny so no one is going to lay a heavy on me anymore..

..but if there is a situation that occurs and someone says something I dont like I may react somewhat defensively, it is a natural way of being human, but that conjecture I offered above is a reactive approach...rather then a proactive one, be in control of your emotions and be cool, like you, or anyone else , I will take advice if it is done in a respectful way ,

you may have misread some of this blog initially and not have gotten the whole context of the issues covered ..go back and re-read what Fred said afterward

then maybe you will get it

groove on brother...

peace

bryon

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HunkaFunk

9/24/2009 12:54:54 AM

Bryon,

Thanks man, I needed that!

TF

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Noah Spaceship

9/25/2009 11:31:07 AM

@tim

I bet you can read my mind,.. try to immagine what I am thinking right now.

it starts with 'f' and ends with uck off

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Frylock

9/25/2009 11:33:34 AM

Dredging again huh?

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Bryon Tosoff

9/25/2009 11:39:17 AM ---- Updated 9/25/2009 11:45:17 AM

its Fun Frylock , you should know, that being in all your many suits you wear about this place hahaha

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Noah Spaceship

9/25/2009 11:41:10 AM

dredging is what i do

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Bryon Tosoff

9/25/2009 11:47:13 AM

Dredging has sometimes exposed valuable and wonderful treasures Frylock.......

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Tao Jones

9/25/2009 7:30:46 PM

I feel like it doesn't matter that much if I am or not. You could make a case either way about it, but the thing that creates the music is pretty clearly on it's own mission that will not likely stop for whatever I feel about success or lack of it or whatever.

Kurt and anybody might have been plenty sensitive to put downs of his music and self. Probably was. But the music creator in him would probably have to keep doing its thing either way.

I think it is probably that way.

What I'm saying , and I think this about a lot of questions, is the music maker part continues, and whatever happens in real life can't often change that. Sometimes it works in directions you don't even intend, but it just works and works.

Bad reviews can bum me out for sure, but then what? I still end up doing what I would probably do anyway: trying to get that creation to grow out and take over...

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Tao Jones

9/25/2009 7:35:28 PM

And then, I'm stuck for months trying to do a simple demo of things I would play at a solo show, and I reject reject reject reject...

and I want to get off this, but I can't get off it because it's not right and the music part of me is just certain there is something that I can do, it can be done.

So I'm just there almost against myself. So like I guess I'm criticizing myself for months now accepting almost none of the zillion attempts. Even ourselves can be harsh with ourselves,,,but what then?

If you have that engine, all that happens is the same thing either way...you just keep going the direction your artistic sense drags you.

I guess one thing I mean is artists here can be touchy or tough, but that won't factor in as much of anything. Just music with the glow...that's what will matter.

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