Monkey68
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12/31/2008 8:49:15 PM
---- Updated 12/31/2008 8:50:39 PM
Is it absurd...
... to be so much in anticipation of a new year?
I have NEVER made new year's resolutions. I have NEVER looked at new year as an 'out with the old, in with the new' quasi-ritual. I have NEVER done any of the stuff I'm currently watching on TV as the new Year roll-over heads in.
I'm rational. And pragmatic. And realistic.
Yet tonight, there's some part of me that's keen to see the clock tick over, that's looking forward to 2009, that's looking forward to saying goodbye to '08.
This has been a weird and hard year.
Work went through the roof, including many nights in hotels and away from my centre, my family and my art. At the same time, I had lots of time on my own and was able to return to my personal centre - long, reflective walks in New York, listening to my iPod and just walking, walking, walking [psychiatrist's couch? I'd rather just pound the streets].
2008 was a year of bits and pieces, of scattered fragments and intense focus. To have to compress my normal routines, habits and rituals to stolen minutes and hours stretched me to the brink of something, something I've touched into too many times before.
But this time it was different.
Because I touched into me. And was comfortable with what I found, who I saw, the path that was emerging. I've been close before, but never this close to centre. It can be heard in the music I've been making since mid-year, the writing I've been doing at the blog at badconsultant.com, the work I've been doing in my day-job and in my ability to be present in my relationships with others.
This has been one f*** of a year, in the best and worst ways.
And, further from my own microsphere, the world has faced its own moments. A market meltdown, an african-american US president-elect, wars in too, too many places, the paradox of reality TV and political reinvention.
All of it leaves me feeling that this new year means something. Something. Something.
And I confess to a little flutter in my stomach, a little tremor of... what? Excitement? Anxiety?
I think it's potential. I really do. Personal, professional, creative and cultural... It is all there to be taken. All of it.
So, as 2008 rolls into 2009, I still won't be making a new year's resolution, I still won't be saying goodbye to the old and in with the new, I won't be wiping my brow with a "phew, thank God that's over" back of the hand.
But I will be welcoming the new year with open arms, a smile and a desire to just take it by the hand and accompany it to all the things it has the potential to be.
Care to join me?
Vince
ps: Happy New Year!
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