7/7/2011 6:06:28 AM
Dagger Rose Critique

7/7/2011 6:06:28 AM

Dagger Rose Critique
I had this song critiqued, outside IAC and below are some of the comments.

I know many on here have listened to and liked this song, maybe it's a bit like Don McClean's American Pie not easily understood until you have a grasp on the story and also like American Pie, much better not explained to allow each listener to deduce their own special meaning.
*************************************************************************************************************
The question I wanted answered was

1. Is the message of the song clear?

The message of the song isn't crystal clear to me. I love the visual of the "Dagger Rose", but I'm not connecting with the rest of the metaphor in the first verse. I'm not seeing the correlation between a dagger & rose, and cotton and bark. Experiment with simplifying the message here, especially since it's the first verse. The first verse has to grab the listeners immediately, so I suggest reworking the message here a little bit. I love how you begin with the title, so work to tell us why the Dagger Rose is significant to you here. Is it a tattoo that someone close to you has? Does it remind you of someone and bring you back to when you met? Etc, etc. I think that if you take that approach in the first verse, then the second verse will make perfect sense!

In the third verse, I'm not sure what the line, "It just shows that all life is pretend" refers to, so you might want to expand on what led you to that thought, or rework that line to more support the "We know the truth, the reason for living" lines.

*************************************************************************************************************

I would be really interested to hear thoughts of those who have listened to this song.

Many thanks
Renee

7/7/2011 6:49:11 AM

Hi Renee

My opinion, for what it's worth, is that if you follow all the suggestions of the reviewer you'll have a boring essay instead of the lovely flowing poetic song that you've written. The meaning of every song doesn't have to be all that spelled out. It means something different to every listener. I think the song expresses beautifully - nice vocal too

Dolores

7/7/2011 9:22:06 AM

Renee,

I think it is a beautiful song with stellar vocals. The message is not crystal clear as the reviewer states. But I believe that that is one of the reasons the song stands out. Not every song is direct to the point. Those are the songs that some people listen to over and over and eventually come to their own conclusions in regards to the meaning. But from my own perspective I felt you were bringing a message of bitter sweet romance. I can relate to that. But I could be wrong in regards to your intent. No biggie!

Another thing that is unique in this song is that there is no clear cut chorus/hook in the song. The entire song is a sort of quasi-chorus which may be one reason the reviewer got a bit lost. However, the musical patterns of the song are well defined and it is there that I found familiarity in rhythm and song form. The human mind is constantly in search of pattern replication when it comes to music. This is because most songs are written that way in order to simplify the listening perspective. Yours is a more advanced form of writing. I think the reviewer may be caught up in the simplistic and your song just flew right over his head.

That said, I wouldn't change a thing about this song if I were you. It is a musical portrait that should be preserved as your own abstract perspective. I have many songs like that. I seldom share them with the world because I doubt that the world would understand them.

A few thoughts on reviews in general. I believe that reviews are simply personal opinions and should be taken with a grain of salt. Everyone has their own likes and dislikes. Some people like straight to the point messages in songs. Others like to be musically challenged and forced to use their own analytical brain in order to decipher the true meanings of songs. Then, there are those who make up their own meanings according their own life experiences. These assertions often become the stuff that legends are made of. The Beatles wrote many songs that have had many unsubstantiated rumors about their true meanings. Only the writers know for sure. The rest of the world continues to perpetuate these bigger than life myths about the writers and their message. But only the writers know the truth.

I think yours is that kind of song. No, it's not direct, clear or concise. But it is a wonderful work that deserves attention and personal perspective. Also, the vocal delivery is flawless! Loved it!

Much Respect,
Stoneman

7/9/2011 3:56:02 PM

Hi Renee
I think Stonemans review is more in depth----this is one of my faves of yours Renee , partly because the message is open to interpretation, and the title gives an edge for the imagination to play with---your vocals still make my neck hairs tingle!!

Rob

7/9/2011 4:50:55 PM

Stoneman and Rob have said it all so elequently. It's a gorgeous song and my neck hairs danced too! Ambiguity is a strength, not a weakness, especially when presented and performed so artfully. I've been studying Bob Dylan's songs for years and I still don't understand all of his lyrics but the mystery of what they mean keeps me wondering and digging after all these years.

I recently heard the writer of a couple of tweeny-bopper songs proclaim that "The words to a song have to be understood by a four year old!!" I obviously do not agree! Your song is magical, both lyrically and musically. Your voice haunts me still.

        �2015-16 IndieMusicPeople.com      All Rights Reserved