TRIBE OF EDEN
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12/24/2007 1:26:00 PM
SMASH THE PAST!
YESTERDAY on the way to rehearsal (a session that in my mind i was calling "guitar jihad") i was seized by the vision of a sanctifying ritual . a ceremony to raise the spirit of rock and bring our mentalities into a single elevated purpose . down in greenwich village i stopped into bleeker bob's to purchase the sacrificial objects , and as i walked uptown i opened the shaman's inner door and fleshed out my plans .
upon entry to our band's cave-like underground womb , i announced that to christen this day of positive jihad i had special solemnities planned . and that for this ritual i required a hammer and a cement block . this provocative pairing of implements got a rise out of the crew . destruction , or some arcane forging , was brewing its purpose . but what , exactly , did our mad singer have in mind ? violence , creation , and magic were unleashed and vibrating the atoms of the air .
my bandmates , in the semblance of an ancient clan circling to raise its mojo , laid before me the hammer and the stone . i gathered them around me . our drummer , ruslan "the beast" from faraway russia . our guitar prophet , who we call the axeshredder . and our bassist , cherokee rick . i knelt on the dusty floor of the half-constructed room , taking on the shaman's form , initiating the circle into a primeval space of destruction and creation .
"last night i had a dream" , i intoned . " in my dream a beautiful girl told me she loved my voice . loved it even more than chris cornell's ( a rare compliment indeed ! )" . "thank you very much" , i told the siren . " but the truth is , in the end i can only compare myself to myself . i get the best of myself by comparing what i have done to what i know my potential to be . this way i break through my limits again and again and again .
" having related the dream i went on . summoning my power i spoke : "this is the meaning of the dream . rock needs to re-invent itself for each new generation . it has to prove that it can be divine food to feed the peoples' souls , or the flame will die . we cannot rest on the past , rely on the past . we have to smash the past to reach the new in ourselves , the best of ourselves . we must make ourselves anew and make rock new for our time ".
with this i withdrew three new c.d.s from my backpack . " in my opinion" , i said , these three guitar players are among the greatest who ever were . i held up the first led zeppelin record and intoned , " jimmy page ". i then held up the second van halen album and chanted , " eddie van halen " . i finally held out to the circle , " are you experienced " by the great jimi hendrix .
their eyes were on fire . they all knew what i was going to do . " oh no , dude" axeshredder cried . but you could tell he was thrilled for the kill . the guys were groaning , giggling , sweating , glowing . a moment of electric suspension , poised between the past and future , destruction and creation .
i ritually placed the first sacrifice on the altar of cement . i raised the hammer. SMASH ! led zeppellin lay in splinters . the celebrants were shocked and elated by the power of my conviction . another offering , and i swung the hammer again . the past exploded . the road to the future was openning inside .
one more sacrifice to make . i raised my arm and paused for effect . i looked deep into each person's eyes . " to find the best in ourselves , we must release our grip on the past . in the name of ROCK AND ROLL !"
...and jimi hendrix lay scattered in a hundred beautiful pieces.
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