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9/15/2015 7:42:29 AM
---- Updated 9/15/2015 8:03:06 AM
Aging is so unfair? Really? What an odd thing to say. I find it to be rather impersonal, and also, by the definition of fairness being that which is distributed to all, about as fair as anything ever gets. It happens to us all. How old are you anyway, Scott? Will you say? Or be as some women are and not say? See, me, I say. I'm what am I...
55... gonna be 56 come this September 25, that's less than two weeks away.
Now, had you said, "I wish I could be 20, and know all I know now" that would
at least have made a bit of sense... John likes to say 'life is wasted on the living'...
and a way I could paraphrase that is 'experience is wasted on the old..' there
really is something to be said for the start out old and end up young-that way,
you really know how to rock the bastard by the time you reach young.
How old are you, really? In your 60s? Must be.
I'm not up to calling it 'unfair' just that I don't much like it.
But that's the arrangement, the longer one is here the higher the number goes.
Time Travel might be fun.
I'll tell you what I wish; I wish I could travel back in time,
find me, when I was 20... introduce myself to myself as the future me,
and ask my past self "do you know why I'm here?"
then beat the hell out of myself,
"and this is for this.. and this is for this.. you stupid bloody bastard..."
Seriously, Scott.
What is unfair about it? Did you not get the same young stupid years we all did?
Did you not be stupid enough in them and now you want a do over?
We learn from all our stupid years... Okay Ladies & Gentlemen,
I should not in all fairness assume you all had stupid years.
I sure had 'em though. And plenty of 'em.
As for aging...
Well, look....
I am, as I said, I'll be 56, in a mere heartbeat...
but also, and this is definitely true for me; I'm also a child.
No, really. I'm not just saying that facetiously. I am this. I am that.
Okay, a child of adult age who can drink liquor and wave my drink
out the window. Nyeah Nyeah.
I personally find the whole 'grown up' thing a bit stifling.
For one thing, does anybody know what it really is?
I'll tell you what I think it is. A mental trap. A net to hold you all in obedient place.
Oh I'm spilling the beans now, they'll nab me for sure.
It is. You ever hear "Act Your Age!" ....
I am acting my age, my age is Fuck You, and what's your age?
This whole society is -has anyone else noticed?-totally screwed up.
It's set up like a very disposable thing.
It's all geared towards grabbing the youth, selling the youth on the newest crap
and as for people our age, we get pharmaceutical commercials,
for drugs that aren't even fun, yet give you side effects which might kill you.
And thanks for nothing. Watching the bloody news might kill you.
So I watch plenty of news, always.
If you want a hug, I'll give you a hug.
If you wanted to take me on a date because you're keen and sharp enough
to know that while on the one hand I'm a trainwreck, on the other hand,
I'm an absolute genius when I'm not busy crashing my train, often intentionally,
then, well in your case, I'd say yes, as you are interesting. But you are
not interested, I already know that, Administrator of Many Heads...
He's this cat, he's that cat... why not create a persona, since you do that,
that is indeed, a neat 21... well George had a point, you want to drink don't you.
A lot of life is Mindset. And oh, do I know some shit about Mindset.
If you feel as though you are old, and it's not fair because inside you
still feel like a child, well, that's probably all of us...
but in my case, see, I don't 'act my age', I am as I wish to be. That's me.
So, I don't feel as though the process is unfair. I did when I was that young
and the world walked all over me. THAT was unfair.
Now? Now if it tries that, there is usually one damn thing or another,
that I can pull out of my Bag Of Tricks, to pretty much make it sorry it did.
What I dislike, oddly enough, is the not knowing what will be.
I'd like to have it all printed up on a schedule, especially the details
of when I die. This way I could edit... ahead of time...
Die of cancer at 80? Fuck that, let's drive off a bloody cliff.
No that wouldn't work. Then I'd live in a bucket of eyes face and feet
till I get bucket cancer decades later.
I guess all I can do, is Rage Like A Bitch/Bastard Rock Star Crazy Person,
and just 'Go For It' to the best of my personal ability.
I miss how much energy I had when I was young...
but I still have a lot... especially in the studio... I come to life there.
I almost wish sometimes I had a television show, because, well okay,
outside of how I yell at myself sometimes if I get a take wrong,
it is a thing to see. I am the thing I dreamed I would be, the very dream
I had of myself when I WAS 20... I am this amazing recording artist.
Okay, I'm not yet bigger than Elvis and The BEATLES combined,
but that could still happen.
There is a wisdom, in recognizing a pointless moan.
That's what that is, a pointless moan.
Aging isn't unfair. That you have to wait till you age before you know Jack Shit about Jill Everything, THAT kind of sucks. But what can you do?
We can embrace where we are, when we are.
I call it a focus of Here and Now, Here and Now, Here and Now...
So how old are you about a hundred?
Let your inner child out a bit more. That sounds like the real thing going on.
You may have gotten told 'act your age' like the rest of us,
but you too can decide 'fuck that noise'.
Yeah you do what you gotta do... and when you get a bit of Time, Father,
be who you wanna be. Just a thought. A suggestion.
Yes, I'm a longwinded bitch. You have a good day too.
God Bless, Much Love, ~Lesley Jane
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9/15/2015 12:04:17 PM
---- Updated 9/15/2015 12:06:29 PM
Well, so you're older than me, Scott, but not yet 60...
And this harkens back to what I said about it being a 'youth oriented culture',
but just 'cause we are told 'sorry you're old and past it' doesn't mean we have
to kneel down and accept such pronouncement.
Someone just pointed out that one is less likely to come up with good songs
at so young an age, and they're correct, that takes a lot of experience...
I thought I was cool when I was 20, and I really thought I'd be that young always...
But I couldn't write a song worth a damn then, nor could I play all the instruments
I now can.
I think the bottom line is, Dare To Rock. At any age.
And if they think we older ones are all said and done, we can do it anyway.
You never know till you try, you might have your best work still ahead of you.
I always strive for that. Don't waste time and energy regretting the past.
Because that only makes more of it to complain about, clock's ticking
while you're bemoaning what you did and didn't do,
and few people blew as many chances as I did, I know from whence I speak.
And even that, I look at the upside, Had I made it when I had chances when
I was younger, I'd have entered the battle less armed than I am now.
Don't pronounce yourself dead. As long as you have a breath in you,
Rock betterer and betterer. Because you can.
If you don't want to, that's fine too, but just say "fuck it, I don't wanna"....
that's a more direct route than going "Oh, I blew it".
I BLEW IT, and I'm still going.
Oh don't ask. Just don't. I won't tell anyway. You wouldn't believe it.
~L
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9/15/2015 12:11:38 PM
What, you wanna see me get depressed something ridiculous?
No, it did not involve Brian Epstein, as he died before I was capable
of singing a decent Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head, and even that,
I couldn't handle the stagefright... my first public singing performance,
in which I was the lead singer out of about six of us, was in about 1970
and was a balls up disaster; I caught a case of laughies... didn't get
as far as "Raindrops keep falling on mahahahahahahahahahahahah"
and I could not stop. And the other kids tried to keep singing, bless their hearts,
but already, I was done for, a girl in the audience made a funny face at me,
and forget it, Elvis Lesley had already left the building; I literally crawled,
crawled off the stage, in hysterical fits of laughter.
It was in fact some time before I dared step again on a stage.
As for how much I blew it and how... no, I'm not even going into it.
I tell myself, it was meant to be, that I wasn't ready, but you have no idea...
And this time, I'm not saying anymore than that.
Have a good one.
~L
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