Jeff Allen Myers
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1/1/2009 12:48:11 AM
2008 "It was the Best of Times, It was the worst of times"
2008 was the best, and worst year of my life. "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times" That quote has never been more true in my life. As I write this, My Mom is hanging on to life.I found out she had Lung Cancer January 2, 2008. Through the year I watched My Mom Mary go through her rounds of Chemotherapy. Each one landed her in the hospital as her already fragile immune system could not take the attack. My Mom has had constant pain with Lupus and Fibromyalgia since 1997. Lupus weakens the immune system, so we knew chemotherapy would be hard. I believe the Lupus opened the door to Cancer.
She made the decision to stop treatment in October, as a result she gained enough strength to Travel to Ohio and be with Family. We went to Disneyland the first week of November, My Mom from her wheelchair got to experience the joy in my son's eyes. She rode "Dumbo" several times with him..It was a beautiful day.
She has been on constant morphine since the week before Thanksgiving, she has been giving ground in her battle each day. It is as if she set a goal for Christmas as she got to experience it with her Family. A few days later she would stop eating, exhausted. I sat at her bedside today, she looks so frail...but she seemed to be in a good place...even laughing a few times as she spoke to herself through the fog of pain and morphine. My Mom is near the end of her Journey hear on Earth, she saw her way into the new year, but I fear it will not be long now. I am numb.....trying to reconcile life without her. She will go to a better place , free of pain. I hope she is reunited with her Parents.
The best of times comes through seeing my Son explore the world and amaze me each day. He is now two years old, and each day he surprises me with a new side of him. He is such a Joy...for him I need to be strong and Happy..it is what My Mom would want most.
Thank you all for indulging me over the last year here, it has been an outlet...one that was needed. 2009 will be a year of healing, renewal, and creativity. Life will go on while cherishing old memories and living new ones.
Happy New Year to all of you here on IAC, I wish you a safe, healthy, creative, happy, and prosperous New Year.
Regards,
Jeff
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Jeff Allen Myers
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1/1/2009 9:22:50 AM
I apologize, I should have put a warning "Depressing", "Downer", or "Buzzkill" on this thread.... I just needed something to do last night.
I do wish you all a Happy New Year, you should not have to read that...
Jeff
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The Man With No Band
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1/1/2009 10:14:02 AM
---- Updated 1/1/2009 10:15:38 AM
IMO ... No apology necessary Jeff ... It's good to air it out a bit ... I found your words to be very heartfelt and inspiring ...
One thing we will all have in common, at some point in our lives ... that feeling of loss ... it's something we all share and understand ... it's good to know we are not alone in these feelings ...
I found the words you used to talk about your son very uplifting ... and the words about your mother as well ... it sounds like she is a wonderful woman ...
The lack of my response was due more out of respect than to being depressed by your thread ... and I bet that others feel this way also ...
May you continue to be a part of what makes this a great place to come to ....
Have a great '09 my friend ...
Peace
Sam
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Cover Girls
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1/2/2009 7:28:51 AM
Jeff,
Reading your words about wrenched my heart from my chest. Your perspective is filled with clarity and hope as well as grief well grieved. We owe that to ourselves, to feel the pain, because we feel the love. Congratulations to your mom's strength and courage, not only in dying, but in living. She obviously raised an awesome boy into a man. I've no doubt you'll do the same with your son.
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox
~Lace~
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