I fear that I've lost my passion by Hop On Pop on The Pipeline at IndieMusicPeople

I fear that I've lost my passion
I've played twice in the last few days... in front of an audience, that is.
The sad thing is, I haven't gotten that rush that I used to get. It was fun, but that was it; just fun. Not a high not transcendental like it always has been.

Please tell me that some of you have experienced this before.
Please tell me that it has come back for you: the euphoria.

I am too old to figure out who I am, once again.

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RedRobin

1/9/2008 6:35:23 AM

As musicians we are mostly 'of a quite sensitive kind' (sounds like a good song title!)....We not only play for our own selfish pleasures but also for our audiences no matter how big or small....We rely on their feedback sometimes and they can be very fickle. We are critical of ourselves - How else would we make progress? We have moods which include extreme ups and downs.

Remember that there is no light without dark and so things may change.

Are playing/repeating songs which you may have grown tired of?

I hope this helps in some way but we can only help you to help yourself.

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Stegor

1/9/2008 6:44:23 AM

Hey Todd -

Do you think it has anything to do with playing solo instead of with the band? Assuming you were playing solo. Bat Lenny doesn't play real live gigs at this point in time but I find it quite boring to play alone. But when I play with the band I do get that euphoria, even when the only audience is ourselves and maybe the wives and kids hearing us through the floorboards.

You will get it back! We all have to have a few lows in order to appreciate the highs.

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Hop On Pop

1/9/2008 7:10:05 AM

I was playing solo.
But I have done so before and always achieved that high.
Hell, my best-ever gig was a solo shot opening for Freedy Johnston.

I am hoping to get it back.

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KENYON

1/9/2008 7:38:14 AM

Hey Todd
Until last November 2006, I played solo quite a bit for 5 years. I also played with my band. The high will come but sometimes whether I am with the band or not, the gig is just blah, no fire. It will come back. There is a show waiting around the corner for you when the crowd will feed that fire for you. Even when playing with my band there are shows that are just flat as far as "that feeling".
I am thinking by Spring to hit some solo shows again. What I always did when I felt like you are feeling is learn a new song for my show. Something up beat, maybe difficult or just different. The new song is something you can look forward to during your show to throw in at just the right time!
You will feel it again, Todd, its just temporary I am sure!
Peace,
Kenyon

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Andy Broad

1/9/2008 7:42:21 AM

Yes, it happens.

I always enjoy playing music at some level but I've done really hard gigs before, that have left me driving home thoroughly depressed. then I have a great gig at the next venue. There are so may factors, from audience to venue management to which side of bed you got out of this morning.

If you love your music the buzz will come back.

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RedRobin

1/9/2008 7:59:30 AM

Larree is right!

(Jeeze, I never thought I'd ever find myself saying that!)

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Gary Stockton

1/9/2008 9:01:58 AM

I'm sorry this gig did not reach the heights of past gigs. Maybe you were just tired.

Monday night I played the first time on stage in front of about 40 people for the first time in over 15 years. I don't play live because of my bad hearing, but I'm trying to lose my fear of failing. I packed up my guitar with my wife, headed out the door and drove to a cool little coffee bar and got up and sang two of my own songs. For me it was scary initially, but I soon relaxed and got into it. It went well and I plan on doing this a lot more frequently.

I will say this, all day Tuesday I was in a very very positive frame of mind.

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The CODE

1/9/2008 10:05:02 AM

I always have a similar feeling before a gig, like what the F... am I doing here! The euphoria vibe only kicks in when I turn the volume to max and let my guitar loose with a mind of it's own (Good example of this is the intro on LFT on our page)

If this all comes together (usually does!!!) then we are of and Rocking!!!

Keep the faith HoP - as Larree says 'transition can be a good thing'!!!

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Steve Ison

1/9/2008 10:10:11 AM

I'm amazed you could get that high by playing solo Todd..I did a solo gig doing my own songs a coupla months back and found it totally stressful and didn't enjoy it..

I enjoyed playing with a band tho-It fills in the blanks and adds space,dynamics and interest to the sound..Its kinda more suited to the 'party' vibe people expect when they go out too..
Playing acoustic without a P.A like a friends house or a party is much more enjoyable imho..
There's something quite alienating about an acoustic guitar thru a P.A...Just like i hate the sound of 'D.I'd acoustics on peoples recordings...

I really admire folk artists who can entertain for 40 minutes with just a guitar and their voice.
I'm not a folk artist tho- i don't have the guitar technique-and always think the songs sound too naked without the studio-trimmings i want to embelish them with..

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the kozy king

1/9/2008 10:13:46 AM

Start thinking of video?

Record every performance for future reference, and write with imagery in mind.

Just a suggestion...

TT

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Hop On Pop

1/9/2008 10:26:43 AM

There's a certain freedom to playing solo.
No, it's not as awe-inspiring.
But you can change arrangements on the fly. Mix up the setlist, and try all sorts of other things. Plus, it gives you a chance, as a performer, to see an audience react to your songs in their purest state — simply as a song, itself.

Granted, not all of my songs translate to that format... but most do and I generally like to see how they work.

The last couple of time though, that feeling just wasn't there.

Yeah, I'll get it back (I hope), but it was the first time and it's kinda distressing, because if I'm not a songwriter and a musician, what am I (outside of the home)?

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Jeff Allen Myers

1/9/2008 10:29:05 AM

Sounds like "You've lost that loving feeling" :)

I have never played solo, in fact I have never played my recent original songs live. I did play in a cover band in the 90''s that played often. I always found getting new songs in the set energized me. As was stated by Red, the audience is huge for resonating energy. If they are flat or fickle the air can get sucked right out of the room! I also loved the comraderie of my felloe bandmates, we fed off each other.

I think you will get it back, you are blessed to find a venue to play live, I find those are shrinking. I want to play live at somepoint, it is my belief if you want to get a fan base you must play out live, its what separates you from all the rest on the internet. It really helps to Market your music. Make sure you have business cards or flyers with your IAC internet address and hand them out to Anyone that shows an interest.

Keep it up Todd, and never forget you have been given a great gift...

Jeff

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Hugh Hamilton

1/9/2008 10:47:46 AM

Maybe you can elicit some feelgood mojo from the crowd by an early-on audience-participation song. Examples that have worked for me have included "Hit the Road, Jack" and "It's Getting Better"...the idea being that if you have a clear idea of the "help" you need and everybody knows the song, it can happen...the crowd gets the kick of "helping out" and from that point on your allies in the war on bad music (lol)...

:)
H

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Hop On Pop

1/9/2008 10:55:20 AM

But...
I DID my Perry Como cover!!!
(Really. I started with "Catch a Falling Star".)

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Tony Vani and Debbie Hoskin

1/9/2008 11:18:04 AM

I have experienced this many times in my love/hate relationship with music. I've lost count of how many times I've said I am quitting. My friends don't even take me seriously anymore.

Just when I feel really ready to just say good bye, something happens to inspire me and call me back. It's like an abusive relationship, filled with highs and lows, roller coaster ride, with empty threats to leave. Don't mean to sound like a drama queen. I've quit before and I was really miserable.

So I have my musical highs and musical lows and then there is the inbetween when I am just uninspired/apathetic. Those spells usually pass too.

Looking at other areas of my life, I don't have these issues. I am fairly consistant and productive in the other areas. I don't know what it is about music and the creative aspects of ourselves. Go for a long walk in the woods and talk to yourself outloud. Whatever it is, it will pass. deb

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RedRobin

1/9/2008 11:25:59 AM

Music is such an expression of so many personal feelings and emotions, it's its own international language. We are bound to feel disappointed in our performances sometimes or unappreciated. You need a certain amount of bravery or arrogance/confidence to put yourself under a public spotlight. I know a couple of brilliant guitarists and neither of them can even play in front of a pocket recorder in their own home! They go to pieces!

You are very exposed when you play solo and sometimes disappearing a bit amongst other players can carry you through a shakey period.

You'll be alright in probably a very short time.

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The Man With No Band

1/9/2008 11:33:19 AM

Keep Rockin' Todd ....
One way to look at it is to remember ..... You OWE that PASSION to YOURSELF and to THE AUDIENCE ... they came to hear you at your best ... if the passion isn't there then neither is the music...
That's cheating both yourself and the crowd ... Passion is what it's all about ...

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Hugh Hamilton

1/9/2008 1:56:32 PM

Perry Como? Are you serious? LOL.

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Tony Vani and Debbie Hoskin

1/9/2008 3:42:14 PM

Are you kidding? Perry Como? That's pretty cool.

Euphoria? Yes that comes and goes. Not to worry.

me

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Amanda Jane

1/9/2008 4:35:29 PM

I know that feeling.......we all get it I think from time to time. Perhaps since so much adrenaline goes into new material that we create at the start of something, it sets a bar that is hard to reach day in and day out. But boy, when it's there it's there. Sometimes changing up your set list can help.

Maybe if you put everything down for a day, went out and watched people in their everyday endeavors and watched their actions and reactions, it would spawn some new creativity out of you. Give yourself permission to turn your mind off and let your heart for the talking. Whatever comes to you, write it and set no limits on yourself. When it's finished, perform it at the next gig you have-alone just one-on-one with the audience. Their eyes will give you the emotional feedback you're craving. Afterall, we do this to allow others to feel through us don't we?

Let me know how it goes.......once you have it you never lose it, so dig deep and pull it out :)

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Bruce Boyd

1/9/2008 11:24:45 PM

I went through a stage about 5 years back where gigging just became a job of work (I was working in three bands to try and save some money for a shift.) When I did shift I virtually gave up gigging. However on the odd occasion I do a festival or some such these days I really get a buzz.
Familiarity breeds contempt they say.

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