Jesse Adams
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4/16/2009 5:14:06 PM
---- Updated 4/16/2009 5:15:33 PM
Obituary
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.
He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:
Knowing when to come in out of the rain; Why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair; and maybe it was my fault.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children,
are in charge).
His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.
Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children.
It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an Aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.
Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses;
and criminals received better treatment than their victims.
Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.
Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.
Common Sense was preceded in death, by his parents, Truth and Trust, by his wife, Discretion, by his daughter, Responsibility, and by his son, Reason.
He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers;
I Know My Rights
I Want It Now
Someone Else Is To Blame
I'm A Victim
Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.
If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.
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Village Jammers
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4/18/2009 6:20:56 PM
A reflection on the passing of Common Sense:
At a local high school, some girls were discovered applying their lipstick in the ladies’ restroom….problem was, they had taken to the habit of kissing the mirror before leaving for classes. Despite repeated admonition from the administration, the practice continued unabated. Needless to say, this presented quite a challenge to the janitor who had to clean the greasy mess at the end of each day.
Last week, the school principal decided to invite the girls to watch the janitor clean the mirror in order to impress upon them the extra work they made for the poor fella. The girls’ amusement turned to horror, watching as the janitor snapped on his rubber gloves, dipped a sponge into the toilet and proceeded to wipe the mirror clean.
Since the demonstration, the mirror kissing has stopped.
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