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Jesse Adams
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4/23/2009 9:43:59 PM
I'm a fool.
All this time I've been reaching out to everyone online honestly and as if it were a real life altercation, expecting the same in return.
Sheesh, you'd think I'd know better by now.
The internet sure is a nice little buffer between us and the real world eh? It's easy to forget how many people aren't themselves online... or at least act differently than they would face to face.
Anons, don't get defensive, this isn't about you... just a late realization on my part.
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Jeff Allen Myers
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4/23/2009 10:13:33 PM
Whats up Bro? :) For the record, I try to be as "real" as possible online... It would be easy to embellish or have an amplified personality online, but what you see its pretty much what you get....
I understand where you are coming from tho...
I have met people in person that are nothing like they are online. From personality right on down to the picture that is twenty years out of date :) I have also met some people who were even better in person...
Hang in the there man.... People wear masks..online and in the real world.
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the perfect banana
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4/23/2009 10:14:46 PM
What, did your plan to sell 500 CDs suddenly not seem so prudent?
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The Man With No Band
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4/23/2009 10:16:38 PM
---- Updated 4/23/2009 10:40:25 PM
Hey ... Quit that !
Well, once I found ... the shady side of town
There was no hope for me ...
But who needs hope ... when I've got magic smoke
To cure my disease ...
==============================
"All this time I've been reaching out to everyone online honestly and as if it were a real life altercation, expecting the same in return."
Come on bro ! ... "Real Life" is full of liars ...
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SILVERWOODSTUDIO
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4/23/2009 10:39:32 PM
Jesse
I hear ewe!
the point is well made--- but some here are real ---imo!
don't wear your heart on your sleeve, is my best advice!!
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SILVERWOODSTUDIO
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4/23/2009 11:06:45 PM
:^D
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Jesse Adams
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4/23/2009 11:09:07 PM
I'm not specifically talking about IAC or any site in general... just people. Sometimes I just don't relate I guess. I'm a weirdo.
Golly gee willikers Banana, never thought you'd stop by. What a pleasant surprise! I'll give you props for your online demeanor, I'm willing to bet you're a complete douchebag in real life too. You'd have to be to pick a fucking banana as your moniker.
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Sly Witt
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4/24/2009 2:00:22 AM
I know how you feel but I don't think you should think of yourself as a fool but as a REAL human person. Yes, the internet is a handy place for bullies and cowards but it's also a great place for real folks to communicate.
I've decided to try to always be myself and also to remember that the other folks on the net are real, with real feelings. I've never understood people who get a kick out of making other folks feel foolish or hurt.
You didn't share what happened but whatever it was, screw 'em.
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Jesse Adams
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4/24/2009 2:31:14 AM
---- Updated 4/24/2009 2:38:43 AM
It wasn't one event that led me to an epiphany... IDK I just kind of stepped back for a moment and looked around. I spend WAY too much time in front of computers and on the net... whether I'm at work or at home, more often than not I'm parked in front of a keyboard. I need to change that and unplug myself a little... go outside, take a walk... write some freakin' music. It's sort of an addiction... and I know lots of good folks online like you Sly, but I sometimes forget the entire equation. I've got a few good, close friends online (at least I think I do) and I can't seem to get the same thing going in real life. I moved recently and I don't have a lot in common with most people I come across... and I don't really have a good way to meet new people my age that share the same lifestyle... everyone I work with is much older and pretty conservative. On the net you can meet people from all over the world so it's not hard finding someone on the same wavelength.
Anyways I need to quit assuming that most everyone is like me and pretty straightforward. Lord knows I don't have the energy to play games. I talk too much... and I voice my opinions WAY too much, mostly when nobodies asking. I need to step back for a while. Besides that I've become too anal as I've edited this post twice for spelling.
I guess this is just one of my self analytical days and I'm spewing on the Pipeline because, well quite frankly I've no place better to spew.
I appreciate you guys stopping by and saying hello. :) Sam and Jeff, my album shipped today so it looks like I'll have it a little sooner than expected. I'm stoked! I REALLY hope there aren't any problems with it, I didn't get to preview a physical copy before it was pressed, just templates online. We'll see!
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Kevin White
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4/24/2009 2:34:53 AM
IDK, Jess ... you may just be an ... or ... um ... some part of the human anatomy.
:^D
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Jesse Adams
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4/24/2009 2:39:40 AM
Haha, honestly that's probably part of it too.
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Holo Lukaloa
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4/24/2009 2:43:54 AM
People on the net are just as good and generally smarter than people off it. I agree that occasionally you will get burnt by someone who treats the real people they come in contact with like props in a fantasy game, we have all run into a few of those, I'm sure.
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The Man With No Band
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4/24/2009 2:47:12 AM
Hey Jesse .... not tryin' to be a Dr. Phil here ... (ooooooh I dislike that guy) ... but I might make a suggestion for what it's worth ...
Whenever I want to meet people in a new place ... I take my acoustic to the park and just sit and strum and sing under a tree ... it also helps to take a cute puppy along ... :)
People can't resist talking to a guy with a guitar ... or a puppy ... :)
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Jesse Adams
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4/24/2009 2:53:19 AM
To clarify, I don't expect everyone I come in contact with to be a saint. I just........ expect MORE than I get most of the time. Maybe I'm snooty... I don't feel snooty. I just expect people not to suck, haha... that's my first mistake. haha
Maybe that's why I get along better with people online is because the disconnect? You don't have to deal with speaking in real time, body language, voice inflection or any of that. You can carefully premeditate what you're going to say and in general come off way more whatever you want to come off as much easier than in the real world. Maybe my people skills are fucked... am I ruined?
Must be my ex's fault. Surely. :)
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Jesse Adams
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4/24/2009 2:54:26 AM
I like that idea Sam. Sounds like it worked for you! :)
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The Man With No Band
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4/24/2009 3:13:22 AM
Yeah it has worked for me Jesse ...
I got a short story for you about an acquaintance of mine ... his people skills SUCK big time ... but he learned some tricks about drawing people in ... he actually PAYS a few folks to come to where he is busking and stay around and listen to him while throwing a few dollars into his case ... I couldn't do it because I am such a people person ... but it works for him ... :)
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Jeff Allen Myers
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4/24/2009 6:22:21 AM
I have learned you can have many people come and go through your life, but very few "true" friends. When you find them, you will know. They are gold and will be around till the day you die. If you find just one, you are blessed.
I can honestly say, outside my family there is one person who is the real deal. He has helped me move three times... that is a good test :) Its amazing how many people you think are friends are busy the day you move :) I don't have to ask, a few times he insisted. I have done the same, and am glad to do it. I bailed him out of Jail once, I am sure he is waiting to return the favor :)~
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satch
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4/24/2009 12:31:06 PM
Yeah Jesse - I think you're right.
For example, look at facebook, myspace etc. How many "friend requests" are flying about the system? There's even "apps" and "tools" you can get to make more firends??? wtf??? And then, so often, once these people are your on-line "friends" you never hear from them again, aside from the occassional spam-bomb about a gig they are doing somewhere a thousand miles from where you live...
The friends we have in the 3d world really matter! They will, as someone already pointed out, be there for you to call on to help you do stuff (like move home or build fences or paint houses) and you do the same for them. They're there to give you a hug when you need it, and to laugh with you too!
Susan and I have, several times, got together with people we have met on-line. Usually for us it's been a gathering of performers who have met at one omd or another and have agreed to share a venue and do a gig together... and every time it's been an absolute blast to meet those people face-to-face, to share a meal in a restaurant, to share a dressing room and a backstage phatt one. And each time we have done it it's been so obvious to us that people's 3d persona is different than their on-line presence! Seeing words come out of a mouth in an expressive human face is completely different than reading typed words, even with emoticons!
Of course there are always exceptions, many of whom are sharing this forum, but it is worth remembering that our real friends and real lives are where it's at.
PS I love Sam's attitude to the park and the guitar and the dog!!!
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Hugh Hamilton
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4/24/2009 1:39:29 PM
I think most folks who dive in wholeheartedly come to a similar place before pulling back. I know I did.
Rock on, Jesse!
H
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Duane Flock
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4/24/2009 2:15:53 PM
I read a lot of the posts here, although I don't usually comment. Which makes me seem scarce. I try to be "real" whenever possible. I've learned to have a thick skin on-line with my music and anything else.
In times of need you'll know who your friends really are.
Peace Jesse,
D.
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Grega Habic
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4/24/2009 8:41:05 PM
Bro you're no fool...You're just a biaaatch boy-just like me haha:)
I feel your rant real good though...god honest trouth...
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Jesse Adams
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4/24/2009 10:21:32 PM
Haha. :) The legend lives ladies and gentlemen!
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Tony Vani and Debbie Hoskin
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4/25/2009 4:27:56 PM
I don't think you are a fool. I think you just expect others to be as real as you. I think most of us are, including some anons; you can feel the genuine person coming through even if it is a fake name. At one point I honestly felt like IAC people felt like family to me. I had to take a step back or I was going to jump through the computer screen.
There's jerks no matter where you go in life, on or offline.
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The Man With No Band
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4/25/2009 7:14:17 PM
Deb ... you're going to have to take a lot more than one step back ....
to get rid of me. .... :)
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Tony Vani and Debbie Hoskin
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4/26/2009 1:10:58 AM
I wouldn't ever want to get rid of you Sam................you're one of those precious gems..........kind of like finding the rare heart-shaped rock.
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