Topics
Basic (free) Member
|
| | | |
Monicka Ferens
|
1/5/2022 11:18:17 AM
I'm Back
Year 2020 and 2021 were not nice to me. One, for obvious reasons that I don't think I have to mention because we've all been affected, we've all been through it and – most likely – we're all greatly tired of even hearing the word itself. So I'll skip that.
Two, artistic reason.
I released ''Hikikimori'' last year. It was my way of coping with first stages of pandemic and lockdowns, but because of the said pandemic, even the website I use as digital distributon delayed the release of my album for three months. Instead of March, the album was on Spotify in May. Fantastic.
But to be honest, it wasn't what hurt most. Or that the album went unheard by everyone, because not only I am a small indie artist in the ocean of millions of hopefuls all playing their songs at the same time, nor because people had their own personal problems on their hands and had to deal with things much bigger than my little songs.
What hurt most is that I completely lost my passion for anything. Music or just art in general. I began questioning my calling and my purpose. I started yelling at God or whoever hides in the clouds for giving me such useless gift. I wished I hadn't been born as an artist. „Why couldn't I be passionate in something actually useful like engineering or finance? I wouldn't have saved myself a lot of trouble”, I kept saying to myself. I tried to ''re-brand'' myself, as it was popular during the pandemic in my country. It wasn't as easy as people tried to describe it. Anytime I was called for a job interview, I kept hearing the exact same thing:
''You are an artist, which means that the second theaters and clubs are open, you will leave our office and go back to your artistic world. There is no point in hiring you.''
I felt incredibly useless. It wasn't the first time my goals and dreams brought me more pain than joy, but this was the first time I actually felt like someone stabbed me in the heart and twisted it hard.
I suffered a major writer's block and even when I felt the urge to write something, I'd give up because I saw no purpose of this. ''Nobody is going to listen to it, anyway''.
I was home alone one November night and recorded ''Obsession''. I wrote the song couple of years ago, I believe I was in high school. I had a melody in my mind ever since but had no means to record it. I finally did it spontaneously in November. It's one of my favorite songs now.
Then in April 2021 I began writing again. A mix of boredom and inspiration. I wrote a song. Then another. And another. And ten more, but those are just samples or ideas that led nowhere. But I had two or three songs with lyrics and a potential.
I went back to my old job. I worked there from June to November, so I had no time to write anything (not to mention mental health went downhill again), but in November not only did I find a new job in a theater, but I moved out to another city. Something I have dreamt about for two or three years.
New experiences followed by inspirations to write and record.
I have 8 songs now. 7 of them are recorded, but I want to make it to 10 songs. I looked through old songs and I found one I can re-write to fit the concept and put on the album.
Can't say I'm 100% OK or healthy or that ''my depression is cured'', because I'd lie if I said that. But perhaps there's some hint of hope with a dash of a faith.
I'll be sharing a little previews of what I'm working on right now. We'll see where 2021 will take me.
|
|
Bryon Tosoff
|
1/5/2022 11:31:33 AM
Good to have you here and sharing your thoughts Monicka, great you are into the composing and immersing yourself in your art as much as you can
take care
Bryon
|
|
The Rhythm Kings
|
1/5/2022 2:08:54 PM
Great to see you Back ! The Artist Story is an Old one. under appreciated no doubt. But remember. If you touch one person, you have made a difference. Keep driving, pushing. Hone your craft. learn something new everyday. Even if it's hard to find the inspiration. I'm old ... My ship sail long ago. If I'd abided by what I just wrote and pushed on, Well? Who Knows?
Remember Girl... "If it where easy..... Everyone would do it"
Advice from an Old Man..
Be Well!
Bruce
|
|
Richard Scotti
|
1/5/2022 4:08:01 PM
---- Updated 1/5/2022 4:11:33 PM
Welcome back, Monicka. I hope you’ll stick around on the Pipeline as the female gender is somewhat under represented here! Your comments caused me to reflect on my own struggles and I can definitely relate. Being an artist is not an easy task in this society. I sacrificed so much to be able to do my music my way and sometimes I do wonder if it’s all worth it.
I agree making art is a calling but who or what is doing the calling? I think it comes from within.
It’s written into one’s DNA and life experience.
The pandemic set me back quite a bit and I’m still catching up after all that I’ve been through to get where I am - I’m not giving up. Every profession has it’s pros and cons and there will always be obstacles and setbacks. Whenever I see my music touching other people, I realize why I need to do it. Whenever I write a new song that really turns me on - it’s very satisfying. The accomplishment is it’s own reward. But I’m always trying to move it forward beyond self gratification and getting it to as many people as possible. I’ve always loved your work and I wish you well in your artistic endeavors.
|
|
_REDDISH__11-27-11_001.jpg)
Steve April
|
1/6/2022 2:39:10 PM
Added "21st Century" to m'station yesterday, w commentary.
Wish you well in your endeavors, Monicka...
I have an agent, well known in the industry, perhaps I could provide an intro, if you are inclined...he's good with suggestions, helpful hints...
|
|
Duane Flock
|
1/7/2022 1:32:50 PM
Monicka,
I've been a musician all of my life. My parents, even grandparents also played music. Rejection will always be there. Unfortunately that's part of the business, but quitting to me is like suicide. I'm now 65 and having fun just working in my home studio. I've had to work and support a family. I worked a fulltime paying job, playing gigs, practicing, writing, etc.
Basically, you get out of it what you put into it. All of the greats put in their time over the years to get where they are. Nobody has ever been handed a guitar and a record deal on the same day. Youtube and TikToc is the closest you'll ever get to an overnight sensation. Waiting for your "lucky break" is just plain stupid. You have to earn it.
Sorry if I sound like a parent.........
Great ideas and insparation fuels the need to create. There's so much beauty in the sounds around you and the messages to be heard and stories to be told.
Just take it a day at a time and listen to your heart.
Peace,
Duane
|
|
Bryon Tosoff
|
1/7/2022 2:50:37 PM
great sage advice from a Solid guy who knows his way around this biz and knows the dedication and drive required to do things, nothing is easy, and there are never any guarantees no matter how gifted or talent one is, Duane is one of my go to guys for helping me out on my own muse. Great guitar player with amazing support for my own music.
Thanks Duane for your insight and honesty here.
Music biz aint easy, I know, I promoted solo artists and groups for nearly 20 years and had one group who kinda made it,thats it,promo for 2 years, did decently in the blues rock genre not huge, and or well known ,but eventually got signed to a label and got a back east promoter to get them into the US and overseas I loved working with them, The Harpoonist and Axe Murderer they are a duo with a Black Keys blues groove vibe but a sound all their own. Also one is a composer for movies and TV jingles etc so supplements his music playing life with other music affiliated associations. Have to be multi-faceted and find ways and means to further ones opportunities, some luck involved, timing and sometimes a door opens. like Duane said "just take it a day at a time and listen to your heart"
good luck to all of us seeking something that seems elusive! but it can be accomplished . all the best.
Bryon
|
|
Observer
|
1/7/2022 5:21:29 PM
Everything is broken. Everything is fixable.
|
|
Bryon Tosoff
|
1/7/2022 6:37:37 PM
not everything is broken, some things need mending, yes ,overall most things are fine.so we all have to accept adapt adjust to challenging situations and I will use this term " pivot" and pilot ourselves in a new direction or a modified direction.
cheers and best wishes to all
bryon
|
|
Paul groover
|
1/9/2022 5:27:24 PM
---- Updated 1/9/2022 6:26:23 PM
I have thought life was broken for a long time but who am i to change anything. The war for your soul and your thoughts goes on without you knowing it. Today is just another day in a long line of days. Not very different from the last one.
|
|
negative tendencies
|
1/15/2022 11:57:45 AM
I just heard your new song, Monicka, it was pretty great, listened several times.
|
|
Monicka Ferens
|
1/15/2022 12:42:47 PM
Thank you very much, my dear. I appreciate it greatly.
|
|
| |
�2015-16 IndieMusicPeople.com All Rights
Reserved
| |
|