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Dorothy Kiltoto
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3/29/2008 5:26:54 PM
---- Updated 3/29/2008 5:37:15 PM
My goodness, I'm so excited for this year's Golden Kayaks!!
The folks at IAC have invited me to make another appearance at the awards this year and I am actually wearing a dress from Armani that costs over 10 G. Oh yes yes, your one true Dorothy is always the toast of the party, at least that's what the LA Times Entertainment Section said and have they ever lied?
It hurts me to think that some IACers don't know who I am because I've been here from the very beginning (You can read my adventures in Spotlight Magazine under the features section of your IAC front page menu. I've been on a long vacation as my current beau has a yacht. :D ), from the day Jeremy and Golden Boy and Andy and Dawna were laying pavement on the sidewalk of the now landmark towers on IAC square. Golden Boy told me you just won't believe what we're up to Dorothy but I tend to believe everything he tells me because he's such a charmer you know? I remember the first Golden Kayaks with all that bickering going on between the Pete Townshend groupies and that other bunch. Then it was just a smaller party that we could fit into a large auditorium but this year we booked the big house.
I wonder what everybody will be wearing? I know Ainjel Emme and Greta from Fuji Minx will be dressed to the hilt. We hired extra security for the red carpet this year in case that infernal fly on the wall tries to jump on their bones, he's very unpredictable. I heard Hugh Hamilton is bringing some new friends from Hollywood he met after winning Best Male Artist last year. We'll be really proud to have Sean Penn and Jack Nicholson attending our show but I hope they don't get too rowdy, and they are infernal camera hogs from what I can tell. I sent word to Jack from my dearest friend Susan Sarandon that he should absolutely not knock down a sixpak before the show, cause nobody cares about him at GK3, it's about the indies, Jack, we don't want to hear any of that "Here's Johnny" stuff!
What's really exciting is that that lovely Jillianne is cohosting with Scott this year. It's about time he found somebody to cohost with a little bit of panache. That should make for a good show, although I have suspected for a long time that her accent is fake. I bet she's from North Carolina or something! Sorry girls, I tend to get a little catty and she will have more spotlight than me, bless her little heart.
Joan Rivers wanted to get in on the Golden Kayaks this year but the IAC brass told her in so many words "Why would we need you, we have Dorothy!" I bet that peeled a couple layers of plastic off her face. oooooh
Of course we're all waiting to see what kind of tux Larree wears this year. He topped his tie-dye tux from GK1 with that translucent zebra suit last year, I don't even want to guess about what he's coming in this year but I heard it's so top secret that even his pot dealer doesn't know!
What about that strange recluse Steve Ison? Will he show up ready to party like he did the first year or will he skulk in the back of the arena in disguise like a mystery man? We won't know til next Sunday.
We're only a week away, make sure you have your babysitters lined up for the children, cause we'll all be out til dawn!
your #1 star gazer,
Dorothy
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LyinDan
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3/29/2008 7:36:15 PM
Good to see you back again, Dorothy, you tw-, uh, terrific old girl. Have to watch my spelling here.
I do hope to see you and Larree with the first dance, and who cares what Bruno sez about you guys. You've got to beat out Priscilla Presley.
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Ainjel Emme
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3/29/2008 8:37:57 PM
congrats to all of the nominees and best of luck to each of you! IAC = <3
welcome back, dorothy! i was wondering where you puttered off to. :)
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Hugh Hamilton
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3/30/2008 4:48:42 AM
Hiya, Dot - was wondering if you could help me dispel some of those rumo(u)rs about us that got started up last year?
I'm delighted that you've announced your appearance - I now have sufficient warning and can plan to wear some flannel boxers under my kilt...
xxoo,
H
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Pulse Eternal
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3/30/2008 5:09:35 AM
Hi Dorothy,
I do believe we haven't had the honour of meeting yet. You appear to be a well informed figure amongst our circles here on IAC and it is a pleasure to make your acquaintance.
Of course, I'll be joining the other fine members of the IAC feline clan at the awards ceremony (Fuji Minx, Heidi and The El Cats, Trolleyvox have some kitties they will be inviting, hear kitty kitty, and others). In true feline fashion, we'll all be dressed to impress.....and my outfit will most definitely be anything but run of the mill!
I will certainly be partying on till the wee hours at Larree's pad after the ceremony too. I have a feeling that will be one Jam session not to miss!
Please feel free to drop by my pad here on IAC for some social and musical interaction when you're out and about.
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3/30/2008 10:30:49 AM
Oh Dorothy, I'm so glad you're going to be at the show keeping an eye on things for us. I can assure everyone that despite her teasing about my accent, Dorothy and I love each other dearly and regularly dish dirt and 'death by chocolate' together. I remember last year when we first met, there was a little rivalry, especially in our desert and confectionery discussions. At the time I got a lot of support from IAC members when I challenged Dot for her 'spot' - It seems that I managed to acquire more influential contacts while Dorothy was off with her new Toy Boy cruising around the 'Triangle' and getting an 'all over' tan....and I got this major gig ha ha.
I'll give you a buzz soon Dotty, need your advice about 'red carpet' etiquette and of course I need to make sure we don't clash - do you remember last year's 'red satin' ensemble? ....what a faux pas that turned out to be when no-one could see me on the carpet ha ha ha.
Well Sweetie, take care and don't overdo the physical stuff, you may look younger than you are these days but too much lambada with 'Twinkle toes' can play havoc with your old back Deary. Love you, mwah mwah, Jilly
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Dorothy Kiltoto
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3/30/2008 7:28:54 PM
Lyin Danny, congratulations on your Golden Kayak nomination. I hope you aren't planning on showing your famous pickle around on the big night!
Superpuss, I am familiar with you and if you weren't nominated yourself, I might like to hire you as a bodyguard. ;) I'm sure you will have your own paparazzi problem anyway on Sunday night. Since this is your first GK, let me give you a tip, between us girls. If you want to make a big entrance, have a couple men bring you in on a canopee like an Arabian Queen. I did that the first year and they put the picture in People magazine. Unfortunately I was making a face at Garth Brooks and that wretched editor needed to use that one instead of a perfectly nice one where Brad Pitt was kissing my hand.
And Goodness Gracious Hugh, you are such a flirt. If I didn't know from my girlfriends at the Shier Lake Inn that you talk this way to all the girls, I might take you up on one of those little events you invite me to.
Miss Jilly, how many times have I told you I don't like to be called Dotty? I suppose I'll forgive you once again sweetie if you treat me to some of that scrumptious raspberry lemon loaf at Vicelli's. Ring me, I got lots to tell you.
Dorothy
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