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fly on the wall
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3/20/2008 12:08:56 AM
Being so sexual is causing me problems in the workplace.
The other day my female boss came around the corner into my cubicle and found me in a compromising position. I had my feet up on my desk and I will say no more but I was rather aroused, having been browsing the internet for pictures of FlyGirl from the old Avengers comicbooks. Needless to say my supervisor, the lovely Miss Rita Lannoy was stunned, her mouth hanging open at the sight of this overly masculine dude in her office. I exclaimed "Don't you knock?" and she got indignant. Later in the day I found I was suspended for 2 days for what was called horseplay. I marched to her side of the building and asked her if it was a paid suspension and she said Absolutely not and consider this a warning that I need to be productive. I then made a joke about her giving me "hard time" which she didn't get. One more write up and I will be history, because last year I got in trouble for kiddingly asking the cute girl in the next cubicle to get under my desk. Why can't I control myself, I may have to go to Sex Addicts Anonymous, is there any cure for this constant burning desire? It's a hinderance, n'est-ce pas?
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3/20/2008 12:22:24 AM
When depleted of seminal fluids after serial matings to a group of females, male flies were unable to induce the permanent cessation of calling and sexual receptivity and the onset of oviposition in previously unmated females. Females mated by depleted males resumed calling behavior within ?22 min of mating and did not deposit eggs on the day of mating. Females that resumed calling behavior were quickly mated again when exposed to other males. However, mating with a depleted male did induce females to become temporarily refractory to subsequent mating attempts. Refractory females rejected males by wing-flapping, abdomen arching, walking, or flying off. The factor that permanently induced females to stop calling, remain unreceptive, and begin ovipositing was contained within the male reproductive tract. Virgin females injected with an extract of male abdomens did not resume calling, rejected mating attempts, and deposited a large number of eggs within several hours
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fly on the wall
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3/20/2008 12:25:37 AM
Can you cut to the quick on that for me? Does it have anything to do with the fact that women seem more attracted to me if I go a full day without taking a shower?
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3/20/2008 12:28:12 AM
It depends what part they're attracted to
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fly on the wall
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3/20/2008 12:32:41 AM
I think they like my Green Hornet tattoo.
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3/20/2008 12:39:47 AM
Is that your green horny tattoo ? Perhaps you are working in the wrong field ? You sound extremely insectual, National Geographic is always looking for "hard" working insects such as yourself for their programs on mating rituals and such... do you have any objections to interspecies relations ? They've been opting a liscense on Preying Mantis/Fly breeding practises but can't find any volunteers...
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The Man With No Band
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3/20/2008 12:42:50 AM
Why would anyone ever own a T.V. with entertainment like this ? ... :)
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fly on the wall
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3/20/2008 1:03:11 AM
One time I actually did have sex with a praying mantis. I was limited in sexual positions with her though because her giant beady eyes were terrifying and I didn't want to look at them. Her pupils would dilate during the act which caused me to fly out the window fast.
I have a thing for spiders and queen bees though. I have been recently dating a girl who is a cross between the 2. She is very moody, one day she loves me from wing to wing and the next she's strutting around seemingly wanting to trounce on me. I may have to spank her soon. Would that be inappropriate?
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Hugh Hamilton
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3/20/2008 4:55:45 AM
I demo'd a brand new tune the other day - somehow I think it might alleviate (or possibly aggravate) your situation. "When You Come". Dunno, but for the scientifically-minded it might be worth listening, with a notepad and pen handy for documenting your reaction. Bzzz. Bzzz. Bzzz.
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LyinDan
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3/20/2008 5:27:06 PM
"her mouth hanging open at the sight of this overly masculine dude"
Shouldn't this more accurately be, "overtly masculine"?
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Ben Elliot
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3/20/2008 5:45:34 PM
Until recently Ive have worked in an almost 100% male environment. Recently, we have taken on a couple of girls. The conversation has suddenly been taken over by shoes..... SHOES?????
Is this relevant... I fear not, but I have been drinking beer.
Much Love
Ben
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Beth Fridinger
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3/20/2008 5:51:41 PM
man I think you just need to get serious at work and stop messing around. Sounds serious to me.
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