fly on the wall
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3/28/2008 11:31:56 PM
March, it comes in like a radish and goes out like a cantaloupe.
No, it comes in like a grizzly and goes out like a kuala.
No, it comes in like a mongrel and goes out like a muffin.
No, it comes in like a hurricane and goes out like a weathervane.
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3/29/2008 12:25:55 AM
Chevy Chase: Last week [on Weekend Update] we made the comment that March comes in like a lion and goes out like a lamb. Now here to reply is our chief meteorologist, John Belushi, with a seasonal report.
John Belushi: Thank you Chevy. Well, another winter is almost over and March true to form has come in like a lion, and hopefully will go out like a lamb. At least that's how March works here in the United States.
But did you know that March behaves differently in other countries? In Norway, for example, March comes in like a polar bear and goes out like a walrus. Or, take the case of Honduras where March comes in like a lamb and goes out like a salt marsh harvest mouse.
Let's compare this to the Maldive Islands where March comes in like a wildebeest and goes out like an ant. A tiny, little ant about this big. [holds thumb and index fingers a small distance apart]
Unlike the Malay Peninsula where March comes in like a worm-eating fernbird and goes out like a worm-eating fernbird. In fact, their whole year is like a worm-eating fernbird.
Or consider the Republic of South Africa where March comes in like a lion and goes out like a different lion. Like one has a mane, and one doesn't have a mane. Or in certain parts of South America where March swims in like a sea otter, and then it slithers out like a giant anaconda. There you can buy land real cheap, you know?
And there's a country where March hops in like a kangaroo, and stays a kangaroo for a while, and then it becomes a slightly smaller kangaroo. Then, then, then for a couple of days it's sort of a cross between a, a frilled lizard and a common house cat.
[Chevy Chase tries to interrupt him] Wait wait wait wait. Then it changes back into a smaller kangaroo, and then it goes out like a, like a wild dingo. Now, now, and it's not Australia! Now, now, you'd think it would be Australia, but it's not!
[Chevy again tries to interrupt him] Now look, pal! I know a country where March comes in like an emu and goes out like a tapir. And they don't even know what it means! All right?
Now listen, there are nine different countries, where March comes in like a frog, and goes out like a golden retriever. But that- that's not the weird part! No, no, the weird part is, is the frog. The frog- The weird part is- [Belushi has a seizure and falls off chair]
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Duane Flock
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3/29/2008 8:27:58 AM
Q: WHY WERE HURRICANES NORMALLY NAMED AFTER WOMEN ?
A: Because when they come, they're hot, wild, and wet. But when they go,
they take your house, boat, and car with them.
D.
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