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Tony Vani and Debbie Hoskin
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12/20/2007 9:59:17 PM
The Beatles/a Roger story
On October 30, 2000, Roger walked down the hall of the local hospital for a routine scan looking for a kidney stone. As the nurse took him down the hall, he turned around and smiled at me and made his usual funny face. I laughed and waved. Roger always made me laugh even in the worst of times.
I sat there and waited for him.
I will skip the details but several hours later, Roger, now in a coma, was being rushed to a larger city hospital where I was told he would only live for a matter of days due to an aggressive brain tumor. I was given a choice to just let him die or give permission for surgery which they did not believe would save him as this was a very aggressive brain tumor. They're opinion was that I should let him die peacefully in his sleep, surgery would just prolong suffering.
Stubborn and refusing to accept this fate, I told the brain surgeon that I couldn't just let him die and that I wanted them to operate. After the surgery, the surgeon came out and told me that Roger had very little time, maybe a few days, maybe a few hours but it was hopeless. The brain tumor was so large and aggressive that they just closed him back up.
Roger was in a coma and they said he would never wake up.
I just absolutely refused to believe it. They sent Pastors and social workers in to try and help me to accept Roger 's death but I said "No", I am only accepting a miracle at this time. I am not ready to let Roger go.
What I did was this.
Roger was an absolute Beatle Nut. He loved the Beatles. I went out and got Roger's favorite Beatle CD's..........."Rubber Soul" and "Revolver." I put ear phones on Roger and played his favorite Beatle songs over and over and over while he was in a coma.
I am not a religeous person but I do believe that there is power in prayer. So, while Roger was listening to the Beatles, I prayed and prayed and prayed. I didn't eat or sleep for days. I just prayed that God would let me have Roger a little longer.
Guess what? Roger woke up. I took him home with me. He grew stronger and lived another 6 years. He died at home with me on August 1, 2006. We had a lot of wonderful times in those 6 years. I know I was blessed to have him in my life even though it wasn't long enough.
What matters most is that I got Roger back for 6 more years and I was very grateful but I always wondered..............did his insane love of Beatles music help to call him back to life? Was it the prayer? Or was it both? Or was it all just meant to happen anyway?
Holidays...........We're all thinking about our loved ones who are with us...... and who are with us no longer.
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The Man With No Band
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12/20/2007 10:22:03 PM
Deb ... thank you for sharing Roger's story ... I am deeply sorrowed by your loss ... but as you said, he was anything but a loss in your life by being with you ... and although not physically, he will always remain with you ...
It is always hard to look at the over-all perspective like that ... but I think it is the only way we can remain some what sane ... and after all, those that have left us would want us to carry on until we meet again ...
I'm very glad you got some "extra" time with Roger ... No matter if it was the Beatles, the prayers or any reason at all ... I'm sure, that you being the kind of good woman that you are had a lot to do with it, (the kind that would put those headphones on for your mate)
May you have a peaceful holiday season and a fulfilling new year my friend..
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the kozy king
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12/21/2007 7:14:24 AM
Thank you for sharing that story Debbie.
I'm so glad you got all that extra time with your son. And I admire the way you have handled the worst that life can deal out.
Hoping you and yours have a great holiday!
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satch
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12/21/2007 7:36:45 AM
A most touching story... thanks for sharing it!
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Hugh Hamilton
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12/21/2007 11:04:35 AM
WHAT? Not ABBEY ROAD?
Deb, that's a beautiful story - I think I should print it out and slip it under my wife's pillow, just in case we need a secret medical weapon someday...
We've been through a medical crisis that caused me to realize the intense need for patients and their loved ones to follow their instincts and never rely completely upon the medical folks. You've gotta push and press and fight and even be downright nasty if that's what it takes to be sure they do what they can and should.
As for the power of music, I'll be frank and say music is the basis of any spiritual life I have...my favorite music is such an important part of my life I truly don't know what I'd do without it.
Congratulations on your victory of six more years...
:)
Hugh
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SILVERWOODSTUDIO
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12/21/2007 5:02:04 PM
Debs -----I read this post last night and decided to wait b4 I put anything up here.
Roger was your soulmate --I have no doubt of that--now he is also part of my experience, and my relationship with you and your closest ones!
We keep our loved ones close at these times and cry and laugh as we re-live our xmas's past-----they are always close at hand.
It may be sentimental, but love is the only thing that matters----between races, religions, maybe even species! (we have our loving mutt ,Temba)
thanks for sharing your world---I am so glad to have met you here!
Big swaying hug
Robbie
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