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Kristin
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5/15/2006 7:51:57 PM
Hello....is there anybody in there? Just nod if you can hear me...
Today's subject fellow bloggers, is depression. I myself am NOT depressed, but have someone very close to me that is. Prone to bouts of severe depression, to the point that I have often gone to bed wondering if that person will still be among the living and breathing when I wake up. It's been that way for a very long time. It's tough. But the REALLY hard part is this. That person is also the brightest light I have ever known and the sweetest and most giving soul on the planet. I can't bear to see that light dim so often. And it happens more and more as time goes by. Someone once told me that depression is a very selfish thing. You get lost inside it and can't see or feel anyone but yourself and your own pain and despair. How in the world are the people on the outside of this hell supposed to help this person? Are we supposed to just let them be and fight their own way out? Offer minimal support? Be a crutch? How can those of us on the outside fight an enemy we can't even get near? Depression is an alien thing to me. Yeah, I get "down" every once in a while, and believe me, I can sometimes feel the despair and watch the disintegration when it's happening to other people,....I can even put myself in that frame of mind and feel an inkling of the utter hopelessness when it's at it's worst. But depression never actually takes up residence inside of ME. I am a fighter, a scrapper, and I have always been blessed with the ability and strength to shove it off. I will not ever back down from something that is trying to get the best of me. Does that make me unfeeling? Cold? An emotional void? That I keep plowing through and think others should keep plowing through, doing whatever must be done to keep that fleeting glimpse of light in sight? I don't know how to give up, and I can't let anyone close to me give up either. What if I finally throw my hands up and say, "OK. I can't take it aymore. You get through this on your own." And when I walk away, that person is watching the last bit of hope or strength they had left disappear. How can you EVER walk away from someone else's despair, when you have strength in spades? Especially when it's someone you love more than you love life itself? Can a strong person ever really decide to STOP being strong for those that need them? And in the end....will I STAY strong? Or will I end up broken as well?
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Carolyn Stewart
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5/15/2006 10:30:54 PM
After having my 3rd child I went into depression when she was about 1 1/2. My biggest enemy was myself. I have always been an extremely strong and positive person so it was hard to admit I needed help and couldn't do it on my own. Before I was pregnant, I was on top of the world, I felt so good about everything. It(depression) was progressive and you end up living day to day, minute to minute, then seconds feel like forever. You develop an uncaring demeanor and it's like you get buried in a black hole and have tunnel vision. It was like nothing I have ever experienced. I finally talked to my doctor. And she said, it was depression and that we could work through getting back to how I felt before. At that point I thought it would be impossible! Obviously I needed to go on medication, which I was petrified to do, I didn't want to be psychotic or addicted. To anyone, the medication works. It was increased to the point that maintains a level of 'positiveness'(for lack of description) it eventually gets diminished as your own body balances itself out. I was on the medication for about 2 1/2 years. I am fine now, back to my annoyingly positive self. I do believe there is a reason for everything. My whole perspective has changed towards depression. One needs to be honest with themselves, have a good doctor to discuss this with. I am very surprised that medicine worked, as I have always believed it was about choice attitude etc... I think more people are going through it than realize, because it's easy to forget 'normal'. No one wants to admit their weaknesses. But there is hope for those suffering from depression. Support and non judgemental friends are very important but from my personal experience I think a doctor is needed to assess the severity of the depression. That's my take on it all, hope that sheds a bit of light...if you want to know more I'm always willing to try and help ...
humbly speaking, Carolyn
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Hugh Hamilton
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5/16/2006 10:00:10 AM
Kristin, here's a link to a group that the IAC community in general may wish to support. Perhaps they can assist you as you seek to help your friend. If this group doesn't seem right, I sincerely hope you can find the kind of professional care you seek elsewhere:
http://www.mpoweryouth.org
The organization calls itself mpower: Musicians for Mental Health.
Here is their mission statement, copied from their site:
mpower is a new youth awareness campaign that's harnessing the power of music to change youth attitudes about mental health and fight the stigma facing the 1 in 5 youth with mental health problems.
Working with a diverse coalition of artists, music industry executives, mental health advocates and youth leaders, mpower is dedicated to reaching out to today's youth about a range of mental health issues, including depression, substance abuse, anxiety, eating disorders and suicide, and providing important resources and information to encourage those in need to seek help.
Sponsored by the National Mental Health Association (NMHA), one of the country's top health charities, and its 340 affiliates nationwide, mpower will turn up the volume nationally and locally through concert tie-ins, special events, media activities, PSAs, educational forums and web-based outreach and empower millions of young people to get informed and take action.
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Kelly
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5/17/2006 2:12:12 PM
Hi Kristin!
I haven't taken the time to read all the other comments about your blog, so please accept my apologies is what I'm writing has been mentioned already.
I think the biggest single thing that people need to understand is that depression is a disease. There is no telling a depressed person to 'snap out of it', or to 'get out of bed and face the day'. They can't. There is a chemical imbalance that prevents them from doing so. Every little task seems impossible, and even thinking about it is mentally exhausting. I
You're a good friend for caring so much! You know how it goes - relationships, be they permanent or passing, require an exchange of energy. It's a give and take deal. So when you asked if you'll end up 'broken' too, well, I doubt it. But you may need to be extra careful to refuel yourself if you give a lot (and you seem like the type of person who really does.)
I actually find it interesting that you use the term 'broken'; how perfect a description for a depressed person. I can't really offer you any advice, other than maybe tell your friend that depression is a disease, NOT a personality flaw, and that perhaps they take the same steps they would if they had a persistant cough, continuous fever, or a broken bone.
Good luck! There aren't enough people like you :)
Kelly
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